1
00:00:15,579 --> 00:00:17,717
The world for some years has
been sodden with tears
2
00:00:17,742 --> 00:00:19,974
on behalf of
the acting profession.
3
00:00:19,999 --> 00:00:22,188
Each star playing a part
4
00:00:22,342 --> 00:00:24,646
seems to expect
a purple heart.
5
00:00:24,787 --> 00:00:26,928
It's unorthodox
to be born in a box,
6
00:00:26,953 --> 00:00:28,982
but it needn't become
an obsession.
7
00:00:29,007 --> 00:00:31,531
Let's hope we have
no worse to plague us
8
00:00:31,556 --> 00:00:34,547
than 2 shows a night
in Las Vegas.
9
00:00:34,794 --> 00:00:37,364
When I think of physicians
and mathematicians
10
00:00:37,389 --> 00:00:39,930
who don't earn
a quarter the dough.
11
00:00:39,955 --> 00:00:42,955
When I look at the faces
of people in Macy's
12
00:00:43,154 --> 00:00:46,622
there's one thing
I'm burning to know.
13
00:00:47,224 --> 00:00:49,839
It was late november,
uh, I think.
14
00:00:49,864 --> 00:00:52,954
And I was thinking about
the whole Christmas thing.
15
00:00:52,979 --> 00:00:54,749
The birth of christ,
The wizard of Oz,
16
00:00:54,774 --> 00:00:55,900
family murders...
17
00:00:55,925 --> 00:00:57,797
And, quite frankly,
I was depressed.
18
00:00:57,822 --> 00:00:59,655
I mean, I'd always wanted
to live my life like
19
00:00:59,680 --> 00:01:01,637
in an old movie,
a sort of fairy tale.
20
00:01:01,662 --> 00:01:03,271
Mind you, I suppose if you think that
21
00:01:03,296 --> 00:01:04,915
a lot of fairy tales
turn out to be nightmares
22
00:01:04,940 --> 00:01:08,004
and a lot of old movies are
crap, then that's what I did.
23
00:01:08,090 --> 00:01:10,624
See, uh, the thing was
that, um...
24
00:01:11,687 --> 00:01:13,353
Well, you know
the way doctors say
25
00:01:13,378 --> 00:01:15,655
that nervous breakdowns
can happen very fast
26
00:01:15,680 --> 00:01:17,886
and dramatically,
sort of Big Bang?
27
00:01:18,254 --> 00:01:19,886
Or there are the other kind,
28
00:01:19,911 --> 00:01:22,347
which happen very slowly
over a period of time.
29
00:01:22,372 --> 00:01:24,444
Well, I was 33 years old,
30
00:01:24,547 --> 00:01:27,073
and this one had started
when I was 7 months,
31
00:01:27,098 --> 00:01:29,507
and it had just begun
to...to get a grip.
32
00:01:29,553 --> 00:01:33,118
Why must the show go on?
33
00:01:33,577 --> 00:01:36,191
It can't be
all that indispensable.
34
00:01:37,177 --> 00:01:40,994
To me it really is
insensible on the whole
35
00:01:41,019 --> 00:01:42,551
to play a leading role
36
00:01:42,576 --> 00:01:44,606
when fighting those tears
you can't control.
37
00:01:44,631 --> 00:01:46,630
Why kick up your legs
when drowning the dregs
38
00:01:46,655 --> 00:01:48,319
of sorrow's bitter cup?
39
00:01:48,344 --> 00:01:50,324
Because you were bred,
some idiot has said
40
00:01:50,349 --> 00:01:51,674
the curtain must stay up.
41
00:01:51,699 --> 00:01:55,709
I'd like to know
why a star takes bows
42
00:01:55,734 --> 00:01:59,664
having just returned
from burying her spouse.
43
00:01:59,895 --> 00:02:01,728
Brave poop-a-doopers
44
00:02:01,774 --> 00:02:04,033
go home and dry your tears.
45
00:02:04,255 --> 00:02:05,487
Gallant all troupers
46
00:02:05,512 --> 00:02:07,072
you've bored us all
for years.
47
00:02:07,097 --> 00:02:09,605
And if you're so blue,
wet through
48
00:02:09,630 --> 00:02:11,629
and thoroughly woebegone
49
00:02:11,654 --> 00:02:14,066
why must the show go on?
50
00:02:14,162 --> 00:02:15,383
Oh, mammy!
51
00:02:15,439 --> 00:02:18,315
Why must the show go on?
52
00:02:18,340 --> 00:02:21,203
PROLOGUE
- I have to talk to my Agent -
53
00:02:21,628 --> 00:02:23,195
Darling, you're
depressed, that's all.
54
00:02:23,220 --> 00:02:24,750
Everyone gets depressed.
With most people,
55
00:02:24,775 --> 00:02:26,497
there is no happy,
there's no sad,
56
00:02:26,522 --> 00:02:28,807
just various stages of
depressed. That's life.
57
00:02:28,832 --> 00:02:30,116
Well, not for me, not anymore.
58
00:02:30,141 --> 00:02:31,736
Look, please, help me
with this idea!
59
00:02:31,761 --> 00:02:33,759
Darling, you tried it
before. It was a disaster.
60
00:02:33,784 --> 00:02:36,473
Margie, I've been
acting now for 11 years.
61
00:02:36,498 --> 00:02:38,592
If everything had gone according
to Laurence Olivier's book,
62
00:02:38,617 --> 00:02:39,799
I'd have known triumph,
disappointment,
63
00:02:39,824 --> 00:02:42,253
and married a beautiful woman!
Instead, I've known tedium,
64
00:02:42,278 --> 00:02:44,380
humiliation, and got shacked up
with a psycho from hell!
65
00:02:44,405 --> 00:02:45,245
Life has to change!
66
00:02:45,270 --> 00:02:47,292
But not by committing
professional suicide!
67
00:02:47,317 --> 00:02:49,868
I have to do this play!
I've given my life a deadline!
68
00:02:49,893 --> 00:02:52,261
Look, it's Christmas now.
Wait until the New Year.
69
00:02:52,286 --> 00:02:53,126
Give it some thought.
70
00:02:53,151 --> 00:02:55,777
I've given it thought...
365 days' worth.
71
00:02:55,802 --> 00:02:58,595
All right. You'll get the £600,
72
00:02:58,620 --> 00:03:01,376
and my office
and a phone for one week.
73
00:03:01,424 --> 00:03:03,079
Now, I wanna be in
on the casting,
74
00:03:03,104 --> 00:03:05,070
and I can put an ad
in Theater Weekly.
75
00:03:05,095 --> 00:03:06,959
You'd better be careful,
because we don't want lawsuits.
76
00:03:06,984 --> 00:03:08,397
But I'm warning you,
at this time of year,
77
00:03:08,422 --> 00:03:10,843
everyone is doing Christmas
shows or TV specials,
78
00:03:10,868 --> 00:03:13,926
so all you're gonna get is
eccentrics, misfits, and nutters.
79
00:03:14,122 --> 00:03:15,122
Margie, I love you.
80
00:03:15,130 --> 00:03:17,050
Oh, shush, you silly little
81
00:03:17,075 --> 00:03:19,443
suicidal megalomaniac you!
82
00:03:20,302 --> 00:03:21,534
Margie, Margie...
83
00:03:21,894 --> 00:03:23,664
- What about that film?
- What film?
84
00:03:23,689 --> 00:03:25,055
That stupid
science fiction film.
85
00:03:25,080 --> 00:03:27,011
Oh, yes. You said you
weren't interested in that.
86
00:03:27,036 --> 00:03:28,068
Now I'm just curious.
87
00:03:28,093 --> 00:03:31,203
Yeah, well, it was down
to you and Dylan Judd.
88
00:03:31,710 --> 00:03:32,846
Dylan Judd?
89
00:03:34,792 --> 00:03:39,715
I don't...I don't believe it.
I...I don't... I...
90
00:03:40,816 --> 00:03:43,086
- I'm...I'm speechless...
- I'm so glad.
91
00:03:43,111 --> 00:03:44,765
I'm so glad that you've regained your
92
00:03:44,790 --> 00:03:47,055
artistic soul, darling.
I really am.
93
00:03:47,080 --> 00:03:48,435
You mustn't let these
little things bother you.
94
00:03:48,460 --> 00:03:50,379
Dylan Judd? But I'm...
95
00:03:50,404 --> 00:03:52,754
He's...he's...he's short!
96
00:04:01,299 --> 00:04:03,092
There!
97
00:04:03,117 --> 00:04:04,418
Ah. "Auditions."
98
00:04:04,443 --> 00:04:05,922
Hmm. Nice and big. That's good.
99
00:04:05,947 --> 00:04:08,486
"Limited engagement.
December 11 to December 31.
100
00:04:08,511 --> 00:04:11,453
"Hamlet." That's clear,
simple. So far, so good.
101
00:04:11,478 --> 00:04:13,190
"A cooperative experience."
102
00:04:13,215 --> 00:04:15,769
Do you have to use these phrases,
darling? It's not 1969.
103
00:04:15,794 --> 00:04:17,888
No, people need to know
it's an ensemble.
104
00:04:17,913 --> 00:04:20,356
- And that you're the biggest ensembler.
- Get on with it, please, please.
105
00:04:20,381 --> 00:04:23,205
"Profit share. Spirit share."
Unbelievable.
106
00:04:23,230 --> 00:04:24,136
It's not about money.
107
00:04:24,161 --> 00:04:26,938
Or grammar. "Accommodation
and inspiration."
108
00:04:26,963 --> 00:04:29,024
Can't you just say that
their digs are included?
109
00:04:29,049 --> 00:04:30,477
They need to recognize
the commitment!
110
00:04:30,502 --> 00:04:32,588
What's this? Oh, God.
111
00:04:32,613 --> 00:04:35,703
"6 fellow journeymen
to enter the gloomy day."
112
00:04:35,728 --> 00:04:37,194
Oh, no, that's a mistake. No.
113
00:04:37,218 --> 00:04:39,058
It should be to enter the
world of the gloomy dane.
114
00:04:39,083 --> 00:04:40,581
It hardly matters, darling.
115
00:04:40,606 --> 00:04:43,931
It finishes with "apply to the
director and sweat prince."
116
00:04:43,956 --> 00:04:45,791
Sweet! Sweet prince.
117
00:04:45,816 --> 00:04:46,858
Great, darling.
118
00:04:46,883 --> 00:04:49,545
Expect a lot of new-age gays
looking for a workout.
119
00:04:49,570 --> 00:04:52,357
ACT I
- Why...We could do the show right here!-
120
00:04:52,382 --> 00:04:53,822
It's terrific that you could come in.
121
00:04:53,828 --> 00:04:54,828
Thanks very much, indeed.
122
00:04:54,835 --> 00:04:56,568
Now, this is really
a collaborative piece,
123
00:04:56,594 --> 00:04:58,188
but if you'd like to do something,
124
00:04:58,213 --> 00:05:01,186
it doesn't have to be
Shakespeare, no. Ehm...
125
00:05:01,515 --> 00:05:03,717
This production wants to be
extremely innovative
126
00:05:03,742 --> 00:05:05,539
in the way we communicate.
127
00:05:08,771 --> 00:05:11,207
Ah! Ah...
128
00:05:11,232 --> 00:05:14,433
Thanks. I thought
it would probably work.
129
00:05:15,362 --> 00:05:17,985
(Weird voice) Now is
the winter of our discontent
130
00:05:18,010 --> 00:05:21,220
made glorious summer
by this sun of York.
131
00:05:21,245 --> 00:05:23,499
I don't feel that you've
made it quite your own.
132
00:05:23,524 --> 00:05:25,390
So, listen, let's just...
133
00:05:26,235 --> 00:05:28,436
Drop the voice... Silly idea...
134
00:05:28,973 --> 00:05:31,788
- Drop the hunch and the gestures, ok...
- Fine.
135
00:05:31,828 --> 00:05:34,258
And then... let's see
what happens.
136
00:05:34,473 --> 00:05:36,833
Whenever you want.
In your own time.
137
00:05:37,869 --> 00:05:40,385
(As before) Now is the winter
of our discontent
138
00:05:40,410 --> 00:05:43,367
made glorious summer
by this sun of York!
139
00:05:43,392 --> 00:05:44,776
Absolute transformation.
140
00:05:44,801 --> 00:05:45,924
Oh, it felt great!
141
00:05:45,949 --> 00:05:47,052
Thank you! Thank you so much!
142
00:05:47,077 --> 00:05:49,201
- I really freed up.
- Oh, you did. You freed right up.
143
00:05:49,226 --> 00:05:50,892
Henry Wakefield
is the name, love.
144
00:05:50,917 --> 00:05:52,997
Known as Harry to those
who wish to annoy me.
145
00:05:53,022 --> 00:05:54,263
Whatever you prefer to be.
146
00:05:54,288 --> 00:05:55,787
Look, love, I won't mess about.
147
00:05:55,812 --> 00:05:57,122
I hate these profit-share things.
148
00:05:57,147 --> 00:05:58,622
I want to play the king, right?
149
00:05:58,647 --> 00:05:59,589
I should have played it years ago,
150
00:05:59,614 --> 00:06:00,740
but you pays your money
151
00:06:00,765 --> 00:06:02,334
and puts up with your
miserable bloody choices.
152
00:06:02,359 --> 00:06:05,487
Yes, well, it's...it's
a wonderful role...
153
00:06:05,512 --> 00:06:07,296
Less of the director bullshit, love.
154
00:06:07,321 --> 00:06:09,835
Just say yes. Let's face it.
You're lucky to have me.
155
00:06:09,860 --> 00:06:12,124
From your AD, this production's
already about as promising
156
00:06:12,259 --> 00:06:13,795
as playing rookery nook
on the Titanic,
157
00:06:13,820 --> 00:06:15,424
so don't waste my time,
sonny, eh?
158
00:06:15,449 --> 00:06:17,314
See ya at the read-through.
159
00:06:17,877 --> 00:06:20,328
Alas, poor yorick, I knew him well.
160
00:06:20,353 --> 00:06:21,726
Ha! (Mouthing words)
161
00:06:21,751 --> 00:06:24,388
He likes us! He likes us!
He thinks we're funny!
162
00:06:24,413 --> 00:06:27,762
Hamlet isn't just Hamlet.
Oh, no. No.
163
00:06:28,103 --> 00:06:29,399
Oh, no.
164
00:06:29,424 --> 00:06:30,947
No, Hamlet is me.
165
00:06:31,418 --> 00:06:33,037
Hamlet is Bosnia.
166
00:06:33,244 --> 00:06:34,943
Hamlet is... this desk.
167
00:06:35,075 --> 00:06:37,440
Hamlet is the air.
Hamlet is my grandmother.
168
00:06:37,465 --> 00:06:40,641
Hamlet is everything
you've ever thought about sex,
169
00:06:40,666 --> 00:06:44,034
about, um... about geology.
170
00:06:44,602 --> 00:06:45,768
Geology.
171
00:06:46,191 --> 00:06:48,889
I...in a very loose sense,
of course.
172
00:06:49,685 --> 00:06:52,673
- Can you fence?
- I adore to fence. I live to fence.
173
00:06:52,698 --> 00:06:56,163
In a sense... I fence to live.
174
00:07:03,209 --> 00:07:04,634
Have I...have I got it?
175
00:07:04,659 --> 00:07:06,360
Well, we're gonna see
a lot of people.
176
00:07:06,385 --> 00:07:07,788
Actually, extraordinary
amount of people.
177
00:07:07,798 --> 00:07:09,663
I can't tell you until
the end of the cycle.
178
00:07:09,689 --> 00:07:11,194
It's amazing, isn't it?
179
00:07:11,634 --> 00:07:14,297
A little spirit gum,
a little imagination?
180
00:07:14,972 --> 00:07:18,173
One becomes... totally unrecognizable.
181
00:07:18,682 --> 00:07:20,457
In my early days in rep,
182
00:07:20,482 --> 00:07:23,783
they used to call me
Carnforth "varied" Greville.
183
00:07:24,290 --> 00:07:25,168
You know...
184
00:07:26,266 --> 00:07:27,874
Because of all the, um...
185
00:07:29,797 --> 00:07:31,697
You know.
186
00:07:32,342 --> 00:07:34,421
- Variety.
- That's it! Yes, yes.
187
00:07:34,446 --> 00:07:36,572
Variety of characters. Yes.
188
00:07:39,069 --> 00:07:42,068
Well, Dorothy Drab certainly
made an impact in here, darling.
189
00:07:42,093 --> 00:07:43,513
I suppose it could be more
dreary if you smeared
190
00:07:43,538 --> 00:07:45,070
the walls with sheep shit,
but it's hardly worth it.
191
00:07:45,095 --> 00:07:47,237
No, you just keep it
anonymous and suicidal.
192
00:07:47,262 --> 00:07:49,611
I'm not here to play Polonius.
Dirty Gertie's
193
00:07:49,636 --> 00:07:51,723
got my name on it.
I'm here to play the queen!
194
00:07:51,748 --> 00:07:52,577
Uh, look...
195
00:07:52,602 --> 00:07:55,329
You haven't had a matronly
cleavage near you all week.
196
00:07:55,354 --> 00:07:56,304
You're stuck for money,
197
00:07:56,329 --> 00:07:58,060
and you're looking at
the answer to your prayers.
198
00:07:58,085 --> 00:08:01,274
I'm clean, I'm conscientious,
and I travel with me own tits.
199
00:08:01,299 --> 00:08:04,353
To be honest with you,
I am a bit stuck, and...
200
00:08:04,378 --> 00:08:06,357
I do want this production
to be free and experimental.
201
00:08:06,382 --> 00:08:09,143
Well, that's how I feel
about most things, darling.
202
00:08:09,326 --> 00:08:12,361
Mil-i-tary!
203
00:08:12,435 --> 00:08:13,931
Clippety-cloppety.
204
00:08:13,956 --> 00:08:15,302
Down, about, and jiggety-jig.
205
00:08:15,327 --> 00:08:18,328
For me, regional accents
are not, uh, you know,
206
00:08:18,330 --> 00:08:19,587
are no problem at all.
207
00:08:19,612 --> 00:08:21,712
They're vitally important, in fact.
208
00:08:21,737 --> 00:08:23,551
There's no set voice for Shakespeare.
209
00:08:23,576 --> 00:08:25,180
That's...that's ridiculous.
210
00:08:25,648 --> 00:08:27,759
I...I tried this
this morning a bit.
211
00:08:28,026 --> 00:08:29,129
(Thick Scottish accent)
Now is the winter
212
00:08:29,154 --> 00:08:31,049
of our discontent
made glorious summer
213
00:08:31,074 --> 00:08:32,440
by that son of York!
214
00:08:33,654 --> 00:08:35,977
That's the advantage of being
a child actor, you see?
215
00:08:36,002 --> 00:08:37,842
I've already been
in the business for 7 centuries.
216
00:08:37,867 --> 00:08:39,556
It's certainly an impressive CV.
217
00:08:39,581 --> 00:08:41,437
But I'm not doing it anymore, right?
218
00:08:41,462 --> 00:08:43,371
I've got to play someone older.
219
00:08:43,396 --> 00:08:46,772
14 years on touring Peter Pan
can give you a complex.
220
00:08:46,843 --> 00:08:49,311
- Are your eyes quite all right?
- Perfect.
221
00:08:49,322 --> 00:08:51,066
It's just that you're
not actually looking at me.
222
00:08:51,091 --> 00:08:52,986
You're looking off...
off to one side here.
223
00:08:53,011 --> 00:08:56,096
Exactly. I often do that
when I first meet people.
224
00:08:56,121 --> 00:08:58,676
I look off to the side
to watch their aura.
225
00:08:58,700 --> 00:08:59,707
Their aura?
226
00:08:59,732 --> 00:09:01,896
The aura, or, as often as not,
227
00:09:01,921 --> 00:09:03,790
just the bit of space next to them,
228
00:09:03,815 --> 00:09:06,381
which can be very
interesting, can't it?
229
00:09:06,635 --> 00:09:08,744
- Do you wear contact lenses?
- No, they're...I'm...
230
00:09:08,776 --> 00:09:10,254
they make me...
they're uncomfortable.
231
00:09:10,279 --> 00:09:12,937
- Why don't you wear glasses?
- I don't need them.
232
00:09:13,216 --> 00:09:14,315
Can I do my piece now?
233
00:09:14,340 --> 00:09:16,426
They said it didn't
have to be Shakespeare.
234
00:09:16,451 --> 00:09:19,062
Oh, good. This is
Debbie Harry, then.
235
00:09:20,062 --> 00:09:23,288
Once I found love
and it was a gas.
236
00:09:24,060 --> 00:09:27,029
Soon found out
had a heart of glass.
237
00:09:28,291 --> 00:09:32,437
Seemed like the real thing
only to fi-ind
238
00:09:32,711 --> 00:09:35,945
once you mistrust,
love's gone behind.
239
00:09:37,856 --> 00:09:39,439
It was always gonna be
difficult this time of year,
240
00:09:39,464 --> 00:09:40,637
and at such short notice,
241
00:09:40,662 --> 00:09:43,297
but we've got a group of people
who are really hungry to do it.
242
00:09:43,322 --> 00:09:45,175
They're hungry 'cause they
haven't worked this century.
243
00:09:45,200 --> 00:09:47,300
- Neither have I.
- Touché.
244
00:09:48,104 --> 00:09:49,824
How am I going to get
people in the business
245
00:09:49,835 --> 00:09:51,408
down to this godforsaken venue?
246
00:09:51,433 --> 00:09:52,509
It's not for those kinds of people.
247
00:09:52,534 --> 00:09:54,027
Oh, you mean like
employer kind of people?
248
00:09:54,052 --> 00:09:56,216
Look, it's a one-off production
249
00:09:56,241 --> 00:09:59,367
by a group of, I suspect,
mad but passionate people
250
00:09:59,392 --> 00:10:01,049
who are really hungry to do it,
251
00:10:01,074 --> 00:10:04,071
who'll be performing it
in a place that really needs us.
252
00:10:04,096 --> 00:10:06,992
If we do it well and honestly,
everything else will follow.
253
00:10:07,017 --> 00:10:09,476
I love it when you go all visionary.
254
00:10:10,658 --> 00:10:12,751
Oh, you know, you were
really close to that movie.
255
00:10:12,776 --> 00:10:14,509
- Oh, really.
- Mm. Really.
256
00:10:14,872 --> 00:10:17,339
And now Dylan Judd's agent
has gone all grand
257
00:10:17,364 --> 00:10:19,989
and is asking for millions.
Such a mistake.
258
00:10:20,014 --> 00:10:21,449
You'll come, won't you?
259
00:10:21,474 --> 00:10:22,967
We'll see. I have a feeling
260
00:10:22,992 --> 00:10:24,806
it might be worth
traveling a very long way
261
00:10:24,831 --> 00:10:26,625
for Terry Du Bois's Gertrude.
262
00:10:26,650 --> 00:10:28,780
So when, exactly, are you
gonna get to this church?
263
00:10:28,805 --> 00:10:31,555
Sunday, lunchtime, I hope.
Depends on the transport captain.
264
00:10:31,580 --> 00:10:33,309
- Why? Who's that?
- Me.
265
00:10:33,334 --> 00:10:35,127
You're not gonna drive
that old heap, are you?
266
00:10:35,152 --> 00:10:36,524
With live people in it?
267
00:10:36,549 --> 00:10:38,380
With actors in it.
There is a difference.
268
00:10:38,405 --> 00:10:40,340
I've got no choice. If I'm
not paying them any money,
269
00:10:40,365 --> 00:10:41,474
I've got to look after them.
270
00:10:41,499 --> 00:10:43,126
Look, I'll see you
at the top of the hill, ok?
271
00:10:43,151 --> 00:10:45,023
Joe, what do you mean,
top of the hill?
272
00:10:45,048 --> 00:10:47,102
By the church gate.
Listen, I've got to go now.
273
00:10:47,127 --> 00:10:48,453
I've got to get
the food in for Sunday.
274
00:10:48,478 --> 00:10:50,151
I'm catering manager, too.
See you, love. Bye.
275
00:10:50,176 --> 00:10:52,334
No, Joe, you don't mean...
276
00:10:52,405 --> 00:10:56,025
Oh, God! Oh, Christ.
277
00:10:57,930 --> 00:10:59,611
- (Nina): Shall I navigate?
- (Men): No!
278
00:10:59,636 --> 00:11:00,730
(Joe): Is everything
all right back there?
279
00:11:00,755 --> 00:11:02,659
(Terry): Marvelous, darling!
280
00:11:02,684 --> 00:11:03,747
HOPE
281
00:11:03,874 --> 00:11:05,889
(Tom): Oh, look. What a beautiful name.
282
00:11:05,914 --> 00:11:07,183
(Nina): I think it's a sign.
283
00:11:07,208 --> 00:11:08,387
(Henry): Yes, love, it's a road sign.
284
00:11:08,412 --> 00:11:09,927
(Vernon): I think it's symbolic.
285
00:11:11,419 --> 00:11:13,483
Uh, now look, we can't actually
286
00:11:13,508 --> 00:11:15,230
get the vehicle any closer than this,
287
00:11:15,255 --> 00:11:16,849
so we'll have to carry
the stuff from here.
288
00:11:16,874 --> 00:11:19,865
We'll get the rest later.
It's a lovely short walk.
289
00:11:19,890 --> 00:11:22,518
(Vernon): And up a hill, too.
How wonderful!
290
00:11:22,543 --> 00:11:24,771
Perfect after a journey like that.
291
00:11:25,057 --> 00:11:26,531
(Joe): We were brought
up around here.
292
00:11:26,596 --> 00:11:28,496
It's such a beautiful church.
293
00:11:28,641 --> 00:11:29,987
Even us kids liked going.
294
00:11:30,014 --> 00:11:32,605
(Nina): It's such a shame
it's fallen into disuse.
295
00:11:32,630 --> 00:11:33,748
(Vernon): Like most of this company.
296
00:11:33,773 --> 00:11:35,476
(Terry): Speak for yourself,
you cheeky wit.
297
00:11:35,501 --> 00:11:37,835
(Carnforth): It's wonderfully
pleasurable for our audience.
298
00:11:38,008 --> 00:11:42,410
Ah... the road is long,
though firm and strong
299
00:11:43,222 --> 00:11:45,828
and tinkly like a dinner gong.
300
00:11:46,758 --> 00:11:47,956
(Henry): Did you just make that up?
301
00:11:47,981 --> 00:11:50,248
Uh, no, I think it's by, um...
302
00:11:51,043 --> 00:11:52,316
Um...
303
00:11:52,599 --> 00:11:54,769
No, actually, I think
I did just make that up.
304
00:11:54,794 --> 00:11:56,317
(Vernon): That is terrific, isn't it?
305
00:11:56,342 --> 00:11:58,032
Like out of Wuthering Heights
or something.
306
00:11:58,057 --> 00:12:01,138
(Nina): It's so romantic
and yet so sad!
307
00:12:01,163 --> 00:12:03,449
(Terry): It's got sort of feminine
sadness, hasn't it, Nina?
308
00:12:03,474 --> 00:12:05,631
I can make my first entrance.
from that side.
309
00:12:05,656 --> 00:12:07,277
Certainly worth the trudge, isn't it?
310
00:12:07,302 --> 00:12:10,292
And a fantastic position
up here on the hill.
311
00:12:10,497 --> 00:12:12,652
There must be some tremendous
runs to be had around here.
312
00:12:12,693 --> 00:12:15,698
Yes. Certainly atmospheric
being surrounded by dead people.
313
00:12:15,723 --> 00:12:18,659
- Not much of a change from your
normal audience, then, Harry. - Henry.
314
00:12:18,684 --> 00:12:21,497
Well, folks, this is it.
The old hill church of Hope!
315
00:12:21,815 --> 00:12:24,909
We're not just doing a play. We're
here on a mission to save this place,
316
00:12:24,934 --> 00:12:27,118
to get the developer out
and the people back in!
317
00:12:27,151 --> 00:12:29,458
- (Molly): Joe!
- Ah, this is my sister Molly!
318
00:12:29,483 --> 00:12:31,474
Molly, hey, how are ya?
319
00:12:32,260 --> 00:12:35,100
Oh! I thought you'd got it wrong!
320
00:12:35,125 --> 00:12:36,713
It's not this church.
321
00:12:36,738 --> 00:12:38,793
Everyone loves this church.
322
00:12:39,275 --> 00:12:42,057
It's the big one on
the edge of the village.
323
00:12:44,182 --> 00:12:46,739
- Not the big horrible red one?
- Yeah.
324
00:12:48,930 --> 00:12:50,763
That really is a dog of a church.
325
00:12:50,765 --> 00:12:52,747
Graphically, actually, it isn't bad.
326
00:12:52,772 --> 00:12:54,176
All those nice verticals.
327
00:12:54,201 --> 00:12:55,535
So much flatter around here.
328
00:12:55,560 --> 00:12:57,114
It's not nearly so good
for working a heart rate.
329
00:12:57,139 --> 00:12:58,153
Well, at least I can go to town
330
00:12:58,178 --> 00:12:59,429
in my dressing room in here, love.
331
00:12:59,454 --> 00:13:01,159
I do need space for my talent.
332
00:13:01,184 --> 00:13:02,445
- Space to find it.
- Shut up.
333
00:13:02,470 --> 00:13:04,714
Haven't we seen enough? I'm sick
of the sight of the place.
334
00:13:04,739 --> 00:13:05,984
Can't we just go to the digs?
335
00:13:06,009 --> 00:13:07,292
These are the digs.
336
00:13:07,317 --> 00:13:08,871
It's the only way
we can afford to do it.
337
00:13:08,896 --> 00:13:12,922
We've got food, peaches, and
sleeping bags and futons.
338
00:13:12,947 --> 00:13:16,112
Actually, I'm not all that
keen on japanese food.
339
00:13:19,842 --> 00:13:20,992
(Nina): Oh!
340
00:13:21,637 --> 00:13:25,685
- Gosh, it'sincredibly atmospheric!
- (Terry): And damp.
341
00:13:25,710 --> 00:13:27,532
(Joe): I remember this place.
I used to get dragged in here
342
00:13:27,558 --> 00:13:29,778
once a month on Sunday night
for extra religion.
343
00:13:29,803 --> 00:13:32,639
Oh, yes. Mom and dad made sure
we got our money's worth.
344
00:13:32,664 --> 00:13:33,814
And have you kept it up?
345
00:13:33,839 --> 00:13:35,481
Carnforth, watch your language.
346
00:13:35,506 --> 00:13:37,473
He means the faith.
Have you kept up the faith?
347
00:13:37,498 --> 00:13:38,981
Though it is very hard.
348
00:13:39,006 --> 00:13:40,758
I mean, I'm tremendously spiritual,
349
00:13:40,783 --> 00:13:42,399
but I still find it
difficult to meditate
350
00:13:42,424 --> 00:13:44,124
for more than an hour each day.
351
00:13:44,149 --> 00:13:45,567
Yes. I suspect that's about all
352
00:13:45,592 --> 00:13:46,937
Buddha can take from you, isn't it?
353
00:13:46,962 --> 00:13:49,001
So, Molly, why doesn't anyone
use this place anymore?
354
00:13:49,026 --> 00:13:50,684
Oh, they do, or, rather, they did
355
00:13:50,709 --> 00:13:52,869
until this bloody developer
got hold of it.
356
00:13:52,894 --> 00:13:54,922
Basically, a lot of people
have abandoned Hope.
357
00:13:54,947 --> 00:13:56,985
I know how they feel, love.
358
00:13:58,609 --> 00:14:00,242
Oh, what dramas!
359
00:14:00,815 --> 00:14:01,687
Is this the landlord?
360
00:14:01,712 --> 00:14:03,602
Oh, right! Right.
Let me introduce you
361
00:14:03,627 --> 00:14:05,515
our designer! This is Fadge.
362
00:14:06,038 --> 00:14:07,046
Did he say vage?
363
00:14:07,071 --> 00:14:08,688
I'm glad she uses the abbreviation.
364
00:14:08,713 --> 00:14:11,418
Fadge, darling. Fa. Give it an "f."
365
00:14:11,443 --> 00:14:13,585
Think it's a bit early
in the day for that, darling.
366
00:14:13,610 --> 00:14:16,013
Is this entire production
going to be conducted
367
00:14:16,038 --> 00:14:17,776
through a stream of innuendo?
368
00:14:17,801 --> 00:14:19,571
Is there a surname, Fadge?
369
00:14:19,611 --> 00:14:22,414
Yeah, is it Fadge Smith
or Fadge Fadgington?
370
00:14:22,439 --> 00:14:23,961
Just Fadge, darling.
371
00:14:25,129 --> 00:14:27,663
You know, this place is incredible.
372
00:14:27,950 --> 00:14:30,568
I feel something very powerful here.
373
00:14:32,759 --> 00:14:34,925
Very strange and powerful.
374
00:14:35,213 --> 00:14:37,799
Powerful and strange.
I feel that, too, Fadge.
375
00:14:37,824 --> 00:14:39,571
Powerful and strange and damp.
376
00:14:39,596 --> 00:14:41,181
I was just saying, Fadge,
377
00:14:41,206 --> 00:14:43,050
there's marvelous
opportunities here for...
378
00:14:43,075 --> 00:14:46,386
You see, we must make
the design all about space.
379
00:14:46,411 --> 00:14:48,009
People in space.
380
00:14:48,509 --> 00:14:49,875
Things in space.
381
00:14:49,996 --> 00:14:52,096
Women in space. Men in space.
382
00:14:52,121 --> 00:14:54,321
So we'd sort of be... spacemen?
383
00:14:55,180 --> 00:14:56,351
In a sense.
384
00:14:56,432 --> 00:14:59,935
So, Carnforth, we get
to sleep in the crypt.
385
00:15:01,199 --> 00:15:03,818
You think they might be trying to
imply something about our acting?
386
00:15:03,883 --> 00:15:05,610
What, that it's a bit cryptic?
387
00:15:05,635 --> 00:15:07,761
- No, that it's dead.
- Oh.
388
00:15:08,532 --> 00:15:11,546
I don't know. I've, uh...
Seen worse in the army.
389
00:15:11,571 --> 00:15:13,271
Were you in the army?
390
00:15:14,058 --> 00:15:15,096
Um...
391
00:15:15,427 --> 00:15:17,873
No. Not strictly speaking, no.
392
00:15:18,291 --> 00:15:20,758
Feels like the army, certainly.
393
00:15:21,108 --> 00:15:22,707
- Uh, Vernon.
- Mm-hmm?
394
00:15:23,249 --> 00:15:24,571
Do you think the boss
would be offended
395
00:15:24,596 --> 00:15:26,920
if I popped out directly
to the local hostelry
396
00:15:26,945 --> 00:15:28,665
in lieu of this evening's meal?
397
00:15:28,690 --> 00:15:31,147
I don't know, Carnforth.
Why don't you ask him?
398
00:15:31,226 --> 00:15:33,727
We're talking about actors,
darling, not civilians.
399
00:15:33,752 --> 00:15:35,118
Discipline is what they need.
400
00:15:35,143 --> 00:15:36,222
You're not here for long.
401
00:15:36,247 --> 00:15:37,841
Really, it'll sort itself out.
402
00:15:37,866 --> 00:15:42,091
21 days, love. 63 meals,
and 8 trillion cups of tea.
403
00:15:42,213 --> 00:15:44,238
Now, I don't know how many
arse wipes that runs to,
404
00:15:44,263 --> 00:15:46,032
but if you don't want to be
the one holding the loo roll,
405
00:15:46,057 --> 00:15:48,029
you'll take my advice:
we'll draw up a cleaning
406
00:15:48,054 --> 00:15:49,682
and the cooking rota now.
407
00:15:49,707 --> 00:15:51,460
It's been so long since
I spent time with Joe,
408
00:15:51,485 --> 00:15:53,471
I've forgotten how actors behave.
409
00:15:53,622 --> 00:15:55,525
This is just like being
in the boy scouts.
410
00:15:55,550 --> 00:15:57,138
Don't say that, love.
Their pants'll never dry.
411
00:15:57,163 --> 00:15:59,692
I don't see why I have
to share with a poof, love.
412
00:15:59,717 --> 00:16:01,320
- Come on now, Harry.
- Henry!
413
00:16:01,345 --> 00:16:03,724
We're people of the world. A
person's sexuality is irrelevant.
414
00:16:03,749 --> 00:16:05,334
I couldn't care less
if he shags hamsters.
415
00:16:05,359 --> 00:16:06,976
They're all the bloody same!
416
00:16:07,122 --> 00:16:09,007
The entire British
theater's dominated
417
00:16:09,032 --> 00:16:11,257
by the class system and
a bunch of Oxbridge homos!
418
00:16:11,282 --> 00:16:12,681
I don't think Terry's Oxbridge.
419
00:16:12,706 --> 00:16:15,390
Well, it hardly matters.
They're all drama queens.
420
00:16:15,415 --> 00:16:17,248
I hope your Gertrude's
a quiet woman.
421
00:16:18,317 --> 00:16:20,102
Yes. I wanted to have a word
with you about that, actually.
422
00:16:20,127 --> 00:16:21,696
When does she arrive, by the way?
423
00:16:21,721 --> 00:16:23,492
I hope she's not going to be
late for the read-through.
424
00:16:23,517 --> 00:16:25,099
Well, we should probably
meet for 5 minutes before then
425
00:16:25,100 --> 00:16:27,477
to discuss my concept of your queen.
426
00:16:27,989 --> 00:16:30,089
It's not bad, though, is it?
427
00:16:30,289 --> 00:16:32,317
Stage... feels good.
428
00:16:32,342 --> 00:16:33,634
Oh, yeah.
429
00:16:33,802 --> 00:16:36,203
You can command the audience.
430
00:16:37,643 --> 00:16:40,027
Henry Irving would have loved this.
431
00:16:50,024 --> 00:16:51,604
It 'tis...
432
00:16:51,799 --> 00:16:54,151
the cause, my soul.
433
00:16:54,953 --> 00:16:57,453
It is the cause.
434
00:16:58,046 --> 00:17:03,731
Let me not mimic to you
your chaste stars.
435
00:17:04,284 --> 00:17:05,748
It 'tis...
436
00:17:06,183 --> 00:17:08,360
the cause!
437
00:17:09,231 --> 00:17:11,231
Hah!
438
00:17:14,901 --> 00:17:16,616
Irving as he would have
played Othello, love.
439
00:17:16,641 --> 00:17:19,575
Very strange gestures,
but totally hypnotic.
440
00:17:20,770 --> 00:17:23,709
Look, are you gonna be ok
with the bedroom arrangements?
441
00:17:23,734 --> 00:17:25,381
I mean, we could ask
somebody to move.
442
00:17:25,406 --> 00:17:27,675
All right, all right.
I'll stay there.
443
00:17:28,018 --> 00:17:30,311
I could always sleep
with my arse in a bucket.
444
00:17:30,336 --> 00:17:33,399
Oh. Hamlet at Christmas
445
00:17:33,541 --> 00:17:35,374
with a group of like-minded artists
446
00:17:35,399 --> 00:17:38,300
in a rough but really real location!
447
00:17:38,528 --> 00:17:40,653
I can't think of anything
that would make this job better.
448
00:17:40,678 --> 00:17:41,946
Salary?
449
00:17:43,370 --> 00:17:44,888
Oh, is that the design for this then?
450
00:17:44,913 --> 00:17:48,111
- It's not finished yet.
- Oh. Sorry.
451
00:17:49,644 --> 00:17:51,744
Where did I put my moisturizer?
452
00:17:57,521 --> 00:17:59,324
You can call me Fa.
453
00:17:59,592 --> 00:18:00,683
What?
454
00:18:00,731 --> 00:18:01,986
It's a nickname.
455
00:18:02,075 --> 00:18:04,430
Very close friends call me Fa.
456
00:18:04,870 --> 00:18:05,993
Oh.
457
00:18:07,393 --> 00:18:10,842
Well, I'm very touched
you should allow me to use it.
458
00:18:10,973 --> 00:18:14,110
I mean... it's slightly
harder to say than Fadge,
459
00:18:14,139 --> 00:18:15,582
but it's beautiful.
460
00:18:16,726 --> 00:18:17,726
Fa.
461
00:18:18,564 --> 00:18:19,921
Thank you.
462
00:18:25,217 --> 00:18:29,156
Why are you rubbing low-calorie
mayonnaise into your face?
463
00:18:29,259 --> 00:18:31,331
Well, here's to Molly. Cheers!
464
00:18:31,356 --> 00:18:32,601
(All): To Molly.
465
00:18:33,538 --> 00:18:35,695
That is rather an amusing
little Chianti.
466
00:18:35,720 --> 00:18:38,359
Well, you've certainly given it
a good road test, haven't you?
467
00:18:38,384 --> 00:18:40,645
You carry on drinking like this,
it'll affect next year's harvest.
468
00:18:40,670 --> 00:18:43,439
Actually, let's just talk a little bit
about the food and drink situation.
469
00:18:43,464 --> 00:18:45,303
Yes, when do we get our expenses, love?
470
00:18:45,328 --> 00:18:47,732
Well, the point is, I suppose, that
the most economic way of doing this
471
00:18:47,757 --> 00:18:50,043
would be to operate our household
budget from a central fund.
472
00:18:50,067 --> 00:18:51,963
You mean there are no expenses.
473
00:18:51,988 --> 00:18:53,425
Not in the conventional sense.
474
00:18:53,449 --> 00:18:54,550
Is there another sense?
475
00:18:54,575 --> 00:18:56,447
Well, there's a crooked
bastard who didn't tell us
476
00:18:56,472 --> 00:18:57,487
before we got the job sense.
477
00:18:57,512 --> 00:19:00,489
Well, now, that's not fair.
You wanted this job.
478
00:19:00,514 --> 00:19:01,612
This is Joe's own money.
479
00:19:01,637 --> 00:19:03,666
He must spend it how he thinks fit.
480
00:19:03,691 --> 00:19:05,224
This was a very generous meal.
481
00:19:05,249 --> 00:19:08,049
Yes, the chili was very nice.
482
00:19:08,827 --> 00:19:11,469
But it really has to be
the last red meat I have.
483
00:19:11,494 --> 00:19:14,748
I mean, already I'm going
to have to detox and irrigate.
484
00:19:14,773 --> 00:19:17,606
Colonically, this has
set me right back.
485
00:19:17,809 --> 00:19:20,744
Yes, well, uh, sorry, Tom.
We'll all bear that in mind
486
00:19:20,769 --> 00:19:22,762
as we implement the cooking roster.
487
00:19:22,921 --> 00:19:25,873
Now Molly, thank God, is going
to do the shopping for supplies.
488
00:19:25,898 --> 00:19:28,486
But we will probably need to be
economic with our provisions.
489
00:19:28,511 --> 00:19:30,098
I think he means
you've drunk our entire
490
00:19:30,123 --> 00:19:32,605
- Christmas wine allowance,
Mr. Greville. - I hope not.
491
00:19:32,630 --> 00:19:34,130
Leave her alone, Mrs. Grumpy.
492
00:19:34,132 --> 00:19:37,118
I think Nancy Nerves is rattling
your bars about tomorrow, isn't she?
493
00:19:37,143 --> 00:19:39,128
Oh, yes, I'm nervous, too.
494
00:19:39,652 --> 00:19:42,175
My stomach's full of snakes.
495
00:19:42,562 --> 00:19:44,458
You know, some people
get butterflies in their tummy,
496
00:19:44,483 --> 00:19:47,910
but I get these sort of snake things.
497
00:19:48,379 --> 00:19:50,479
Those are your intestines, love.
498
00:19:50,536 --> 00:19:52,721
I can feel my nipples stiffening.
499
00:19:55,451 --> 00:19:56,961
It's a good sign.
500
00:19:57,351 --> 00:19:59,362
A very good sign.
501
00:19:59,881 --> 00:20:02,023
(Breathy voice) Hard and quick.
502
00:20:02,085 --> 00:20:03,642
Hard and quick!
503
00:20:04,460 --> 00:20:06,492
It happens the night
before a production.
504
00:20:06,517 --> 00:20:08,884
I feel it to be a tremendous omen.
505
00:20:11,170 --> 00:20:13,893
Well, we're never short of
a shock from Mr. Mad, are we?
506
00:20:14,021 --> 00:20:17,203
What is all this calling boys
by girls' names and stuff?
507
00:20:17,228 --> 00:20:18,512
I'm completely lost!
508
00:20:18,537 --> 00:20:21,494
It's camp, darling.
Theatrical camp. Banter.
509
00:20:21,987 --> 00:20:23,490
Keeps us all on
the straight and narrow.
510
00:20:23,515 --> 00:20:25,319
You put a girl's name
in front of any word
511
00:20:25,344 --> 00:20:26,998
just to spice up your sentences.
512
00:20:27,023 --> 00:20:29,376
And always refer to a man as a she
513
00:20:29,401 --> 00:20:31,170
and a woman as a he.
For example,
514
00:20:31,195 --> 00:20:33,949
- if I were to comment on
Harry over there...
515
00:20:33,950 --> 00:20:36,138
- Henry. - I might say,
"oh, Mandy Misery's shafted"
516
00:20:36,162 --> 00:20:38,255
"Mrs. Wakefield good
and proper, hasn't she?"
517
00:20:38,280 --> 00:20:39,447
Oh, I see.
518
00:20:39,472 --> 00:20:41,530
Well, you will, darling.
And you never know.
519
00:20:41,857 --> 00:20:44,217
There might be a little more
campery before the first night.
520
00:20:45,497 --> 00:20:47,963
The point is, there is
nowhere for people to go,
521
00:20:47,988 --> 00:20:50,184
apart from the pub,
if they can afford it.
522
00:20:50,209 --> 00:20:53,122
I mean, there's no village hall,
there's no art center.
523
00:20:53,147 --> 00:20:56,194
We need this place
to give people a focus,
524
00:20:56,455 --> 00:20:59,519
prove to the council that there
is a community worth maintaining,
525
00:20:59,544 --> 00:21:01,007
that there is a community!
526
00:21:01,039 --> 00:21:03,884
Then it would be wonderful
if it was a great production!
527
00:21:03,909 --> 00:21:06,187
Don't feel under any pressure, Joe.
528
00:21:06,212 --> 00:21:07,945
What is the show, anyway?
529
00:21:08,003 --> 00:21:09,898
That bugger wouldn't even tell me.
530
00:21:09,923 --> 00:21:13,145
Oh, I hope it's something
Christmasy, a comedy.
531
00:21:13,170 --> 00:21:14,402
(Tom): It's Hamlet.
532
00:21:18,681 --> 00:21:20,391
Great.
533
00:21:20,792 --> 00:21:22,018
Oh, hello, kids.
534
00:21:22,173 --> 00:21:24,347
Do stop watching Mighty
Morphin Power Rangers
535
00:21:24,372 --> 00:21:26,156
and come and watch
a 400-year-old play
536
00:21:26,181 --> 00:21:28,311
about a depressed
aristocrat. I mean,
537
00:21:28,336 --> 00:21:29,978
it's something you
can really relate to.
538
00:21:30,003 --> 00:21:32,003
We've got our work cut out.
539
00:21:32,686 --> 00:21:34,446
Who's playing Hamlet?
540
00:21:37,247 --> 00:21:39,303
Oh, that's so bloody typical of you!
541
00:21:39,328 --> 00:21:40,266
I'll take you home!
542
00:21:40,291 --> 00:21:42,311
You can walk off your disappointment.
543
00:21:42,336 --> 00:21:44,893
Oh, can I come, too, just for the air?
544
00:21:46,430 --> 00:21:48,675
I hope you don't mind coming this route.
It's on our way home.
545
00:21:48,700 --> 00:21:51,668
Not at all. It's a chance to calm
down after all the excitement.
546
00:21:51,838 --> 00:21:53,413
I couldn't have gone
to sleep right away.
547
00:21:53,438 --> 00:21:56,510
I just wanted to see this place
again. I'd set my heart on it!
548
00:21:56,535 --> 00:21:58,049
The other church is
much more practical.
549
00:21:58,074 --> 00:21:59,795
I know, but this is
where I grew up.
550
00:21:59,819 --> 00:22:02,095
It's just typically stupid of me
not to have checked properly
551
00:22:02,120 --> 00:22:04,245
with Molly, charging away as usual.
552
00:22:04,270 --> 00:22:06,294
That's enthusiasm. It's important.
553
00:22:06,319 --> 00:22:08,476
- Not many people have it like you.
- I hope I can keep it up.
554
00:22:08,501 --> 00:22:10,594
- I beg your pardon?
- Don't you start.
555
00:22:10,619 --> 00:22:12,515
Are you scared about tomorrow?
556
00:22:12,540 --> 00:22:14,540
Absolutely petrified.
557
00:22:14,996 --> 00:22:17,024
Right now I just wish
I'd got that stupid part
558
00:22:17,049 --> 00:22:18,468
in that stupid film
and have to turn up
559
00:22:18,493 --> 00:22:21,497
for 6 months in a funny suit
and drink tea all day.
560
00:22:21,986 --> 00:22:25,082
Look, we're all right behind you.
You won't fail.
561
00:22:25,440 --> 00:22:28,085
I did once before, you know?
Fadge and I both.
562
00:22:29,085 --> 00:22:32,124
Different shows. Same bull-at-a-gate
mentality. Complete cock up.
563
00:22:32,149 --> 00:22:34,731
All money lost,
all confidence lost with it.
564
00:22:34,756 --> 00:22:36,652
My dad went bust. My fiancee
left me for another man.
565
00:22:36,677 --> 00:22:39,079
Wonderful timing. Only an
actress can carry that off.
566
00:22:39,104 --> 00:22:40,336
No offense.
567
00:22:40,863 --> 00:22:42,898
I shouldn't be talking
to you like this, should I?
568
00:22:42,923 --> 00:22:45,227
I'm flattered that you
can confide in me.
569
00:22:45,252 --> 00:22:47,943
Martin always says that if you
can face your troubles and fears
570
00:22:47,968 --> 00:22:49,189
and just acknowledge them,
571
00:22:49,214 --> 00:22:50,999
you're halfway to
letting them fly away.
572
00:22:51,024 --> 00:22:52,237
I always try to remember that.
573
00:22:52,262 --> 00:22:54,422
- That's good advice.
- Mm-hmm.
574
00:22:54,622 --> 00:22:56,522
- Who's Martin?
- My husband.
575
00:22:56,772 --> 00:22:59,549
Act II
- There's no business like showbusiness! -
576
00:23:01,030 --> 00:23:02,229
Right.
577
00:23:02,601 --> 00:23:05,567
Uh... this is obviously
a very exciting moment.
578
00:23:05,592 --> 00:23:08,554
We're about to embark upon
our voyage of discovery.
579
00:23:08,639 --> 00:23:10,930
I'd like to talk a little
bit about Hamlet.
580
00:23:10,955 --> 00:23:12,730
I know it is a very dark play.
581
00:23:12,755 --> 00:23:14,265
I see it as a very long play, darling.
582
00:23:14,290 --> 00:23:16,134
Sally Scissors is going
to appear, we hope.
583
00:23:16,159 --> 00:23:17,582
Yes, no, I've got a lot of cuts.
584
00:23:17,607 --> 00:23:20,043
But what I'd like to do for
the benefit of this read-through
585
00:23:20,068 --> 00:23:21,475
is to read the whole thing.
586
00:23:21,500 --> 00:23:23,515
Oh, great. We've only
got 10 days' rehearsal,
587
00:23:23,540 --> 00:23:26,666
but let's spend 15 hours reading
the whole bloody thing on day one.
588
00:23:26,691 --> 00:23:27,960
I'll give you the cuts
directly afterwards.
589
00:23:27,985 --> 00:23:29,785
It's vital we read
the whole thing once.
590
00:23:29,810 --> 00:23:30,810
Hear, hear.
591
00:23:32,114 --> 00:23:33,152
Right. We're not gonna waste
592
00:23:33,177 --> 00:23:35,430
any more time on speeches and things.
593
00:23:35,455 --> 00:23:36,874
I would just like
to say at this stage,
594
00:23:36,899 --> 00:23:38,510
please enjoy the reading.
595
00:23:38,535 --> 00:23:42,438
I mean, don't feel obliged
to, um, give performances.
596
00:23:42,463 --> 00:23:44,727
I don't want that.
But do avoid mumbling,
597
00:23:44,752 --> 00:23:46,917
throwing it away.
Let's really hear this play.
598
00:23:46,942 --> 00:23:49,478
Ok, let's really
listen to each other!
599
00:23:49,503 --> 00:23:51,970
Ok? And relax! Ok?
600
00:23:53,029 --> 00:23:55,096
Ok. Off we go.
601
00:23:58,695 --> 00:24:02,083
Um, could I just mention smoking?
602
00:24:03,539 --> 00:24:05,984
I think it would be
really a good idea
603
00:24:06,009 --> 00:24:08,770
if this was
a nonsmoking read-through.
604
00:24:12,282 --> 00:24:14,465
Uh, right. If you could
all be sensitive to that.
605
00:24:14,498 --> 00:24:16,187
Thanks very much, Tom.
606
00:24:17,028 --> 00:24:18,952
- Ok.
- Who's there?!
607
00:24:18,977 --> 00:24:22,190
Good Hamlet, cast
thy nighted color off,
608
00:24:22,476 --> 00:24:25,958
and let thine eye look like
a friend on Denmark.
609
00:24:26,023 --> 00:24:28,342
Do not forever with thy vailed lids
610
00:24:28,601 --> 00:24:30,898
seek for thy noble father
in the dust?
611
00:24:30,923 --> 00:24:34,828
Why must the show go on?
612
00:24:34,884 --> 00:24:37,574
The rule is surely not immutable.
613
00:24:38,782 --> 00:24:42,124
It might be wiser and more
suitable just to close
614
00:24:42,513 --> 00:24:44,283
if you are in the throes
615
00:24:44,308 --> 00:24:46,461
of personal grief
and private woes.
616
00:24:46,486 --> 00:24:48,326
Why stifle a sob
when doing your job
617
00:24:48,351 --> 00:24:50,155
when, if you'd use your head
618
00:24:50,180 --> 00:24:52,107
you'd go out and grab
a comfortable cab
619
00:24:52,132 --> 00:24:53,504
and go right home to bed.
620
00:24:53,529 --> 00:24:56,845
Because you're not
giving us much fun.
621
00:24:57,559 --> 00:25:00,971
This laugh, clown, laugh
routine's been overdone.
622
00:25:01,902 --> 00:25:03,242
Hats off to show folks
623
00:25:03,306 --> 00:25:05,239
for smiling when they're blue.
624
00:25:05,281 --> 00:25:07,202
But more 'comme il faut' folks.
625
00:25:07,227 --> 00:25:08,557
Are sick of smiling through.
626
00:25:08,582 --> 00:25:11,078
And if you're out cold, too old
627
00:25:11,103 --> 00:25:13,106
and most of your teeth have gone,
628
00:25:13,131 --> 00:25:15,164
why must the show go on?
629
00:25:15,311 --> 00:25:17,115
I sometimes wonder,
630
00:25:17,140 --> 00:25:19,536
why must the show go on?
631
00:25:22,417 --> 00:25:24,620
- I can't stand poofs!
- Henry!
632
00:25:24,645 --> 00:25:27,240
Gertrude was not written
as a shirt lifter!
633
00:25:27,265 --> 00:25:29,789
- Shakespeare himself
was probably bisexual. - Ballshit!
634
00:25:29,814 --> 00:25:31,203
It's an elizabethan concept.
635
00:25:31,228 --> 00:25:33,171
It'll free up a whole
part of the show!
636
00:25:33,196 --> 00:25:35,624
A dyke I could have coped with.
I don't mind the odd diesel.
637
00:25:35,649 --> 00:25:37,338
But I'm not having
me tongue down that!
638
00:25:37,363 --> 00:25:39,535
Me thinks the Lady Doth
protest too much, darling.
639
00:25:39,560 --> 00:25:41,123
Oh, he's old school.
640
00:25:41,244 --> 00:25:43,103
He's just trying to prove
that he's really 29,
641
00:25:43,128 --> 00:25:44,920
with 6 testicles and a 4-foot dick.
642
00:25:44,945 --> 00:25:48,119
Chaps, I'm just slipping down to the...
643
00:25:48,538 --> 00:25:50,738
post office for a quick, um...
644
00:25:51,232 --> 00:25:52,509
Stamp. Ha.
645
00:25:52,534 --> 00:25:53,800
I cannot believe the cuts.
646
00:25:53,825 --> 00:25:55,205
I cannot believe the cuts.
647
00:25:55,230 --> 00:25:57,610
I cannot believe the cuts!
648
00:25:57,635 --> 00:25:58,856
Can you believe the cuts, Tom?
649
00:25:58,881 --> 00:26:00,638
No! I can't believe them!
650
00:26:00,952 --> 00:26:03,185
Tom, you're playing all those parts.
651
00:26:03,281 --> 00:26:05,259
I mean, that's the real
challenge, isn't it?
652
00:26:05,284 --> 00:26:07,164
To make them all
exciting and different.
653
00:26:07,189 --> 00:26:08,762
- And brief.
- Exactly.
654
00:26:08,787 --> 00:26:09,901
I'm going to speak to my agent.
655
00:26:09,926 --> 00:26:11,401
That's right, darling.
Threaten to walk.
656
00:26:11,426 --> 00:26:13,026
The management will
quake in their boots.
657
00:26:13,061 --> 00:26:15,059
Oh, please don't leave, Tom.
658
00:26:15,241 --> 00:26:17,924
I think you'd be a wonderful Laertes.
659
00:26:19,821 --> 00:26:22,185
Well, I have put quite a lot
of work into it, actually.
660
00:26:22,210 --> 00:26:23,941
Normally, I'd have tried to spend
661
00:26:23,966 --> 00:26:25,582
a month in Denmark to get it right.
662
00:26:25,607 --> 00:26:27,162
So what did you do this time?
663
00:26:27,187 --> 00:26:29,539
I borrowed this book
on the Eiffel tower.
664
00:26:29,564 --> 00:26:32,234
You know in the play
he goes to France?
665
00:26:32,259 --> 00:26:33,695
I just wanted an image in my head.
666
00:26:33,720 --> 00:26:35,710
Well, there'll be plenty
of room for it, darling.
667
00:26:35,735 --> 00:26:37,045
Is Joe all right?
668
00:26:37,070 --> 00:26:39,230
Oh, he's fine, love. He's
just humoring Mrs. Wakefield.
669
00:26:39,234 --> 00:26:40,328
Will he leave?
670
00:26:40,353 --> 00:26:42,169
Is it always like this
on the first day of a play?
671
00:26:42,194 --> 00:26:44,584
- Sort of political, I think.
- Marking out territory.
672
00:26:44,609 --> 00:26:46,432
Yes, she's a ruthless
stepdaughter, that one.
673
00:26:46,457 --> 00:26:47,713
Did you enjoy the
read-through, Fadge?
674
00:26:47,738 --> 00:26:49,448
I thought it was extraordinary.
675
00:26:49,473 --> 00:26:52,237
And also, in a strange way, banal.
676
00:26:52,262 --> 00:26:55,605
Does that mean you've decided on
an extraordinarily banal design?
677
00:26:55,630 --> 00:26:57,843
I can't...I never
decide at this stage.
678
00:26:57,868 --> 00:26:59,524
One has to remain open.
679
00:26:59,646 --> 00:27:00,906
Open and indecisive?
680
00:27:00,931 --> 00:27:03,208
Stop teasing, Vernon.
681
00:27:03,295 --> 00:27:06,014
I can't wait to see
the set model... Fa.
682
00:27:07,055 --> 00:27:07,872
Fa?
683
00:27:08,253 --> 00:27:09,896
- Fa?
- Did she say Fa?
684
00:27:22,810 --> 00:27:23,926
Um...
685
00:27:24,846 --> 00:27:29,109
Isn't... this, um...
Pardon.
686
00:27:29,371 --> 00:27:32,298
You'll have to go easy licking those
stamps at lunchtime, Mrs. Greville.
687
00:27:32,323 --> 00:27:35,005
Yes, but... this is...
688
00:27:35,584 --> 00:27:38,686
sort of... exactly
where we are, isn't it?
689
00:27:38,711 --> 00:27:40,075
- Exactly!
- Brilliant.
690
00:27:40,100 --> 00:27:42,823
- So what's the design?
- Smoke. - Smoke?
691
00:27:43,104 --> 00:27:46,235
- People in space in smoke.
- Oh, gosh.
692
00:27:46,446 --> 00:27:47,667
This building does everything else.
693
00:27:47,692 --> 00:27:51,030
- Smoke gives us atmosphere,
history. - Bronchitis.
694
00:27:51,055 --> 00:27:53,213
- What about period, then, darling?
- Joe?
695
00:27:56,184 --> 00:27:58,452
I think, uh, I think
we should create the period.
696
00:27:58,477 --> 00:28:00,952
I don't think it should be elizabethan.
That would be ridiculous.
697
00:28:00,977 --> 00:28:02,694
Although it is an elizabethan
play, isn't it?
698
00:28:02,719 --> 00:28:04,242
Don't bring up the
tedious details, love.
699
00:28:04,267 --> 00:28:06,424
It should be no period.
It should be our period.
700
00:28:06,449 --> 00:28:07,694
When everybody's come up
with contributions
701
00:28:07,719 --> 00:28:10,189
to character and costume,
the period or style will emerge.
702
00:28:10,214 --> 00:28:11,914
That's the nature
of this collaboration!
703
00:28:11,939 --> 00:28:13,471
Is cop-out 1 word or 2?
704
00:28:13,496 --> 00:28:15,737
You're being a naughty,
cynical sausage, Vernon.
705
00:28:15,762 --> 00:28:16,764
Oh!
706
00:28:16,789 --> 00:28:19,232
Thank you, Nina. We'll be
having discussions this afternoon
707
00:28:19,257 --> 00:28:21,452
about character and costume
to set us off on the right foot,
708
00:28:21,477 --> 00:28:23,867
and we'll start rehearsals properly
tomorrow with the first scene of the play.
709
00:28:23,892 --> 00:28:26,741
- Starting with the first scene?
Oh, she's so radical! - Shut up, bitch.
710
00:28:26,766 --> 00:28:28,313
BUILDER ACCESS ONLY
711
00:28:28,338 --> 00:28:30,718
I can take every period with me.
712
00:28:31,135 --> 00:28:33,001
That's what Joe said.
713
00:28:33,027 --> 00:28:34,883
The style will emerge.
714
00:28:35,084 --> 00:28:36,450
That's right.
715
00:28:39,296 --> 00:28:40,475
That's everything.
716
00:28:40,500 --> 00:28:42,340
I wear my own props, love.
I bring my own breasts.
717
00:28:42,365 --> 00:28:43,631
You look after the other children.
718
00:28:43,656 --> 00:28:44,769
The thing is, Joe,
719
00:28:44,794 --> 00:28:47,530
I've noticed that I'm,
uh, actually playing
720
00:28:47,555 --> 00:28:49,976
2 characters
who appear on the stage
721
00:28:50,001 --> 00:28:52,283
at the same time, as it were.
And, uh...
722
00:28:52,285 --> 00:28:55,333
Actually, Joe, I was just wondering
whether I could mention the cuts.
723
00:28:55,358 --> 00:28:56,625
I think they're
brilliant...brilliant!
724
00:28:56,650 --> 00:28:58,007
So clever wh-what you've done.
725
00:28:58,033 --> 00:29:01,637
It's just that Laertes
has lost 4 key lines.
726
00:29:01,884 --> 00:29:05,302
Perhaps you'd maybe plan
something perhaps with mirrors?
727
00:29:05,327 --> 00:29:06,572
I was just wondering
whether at some point
728
00:29:06,597 --> 00:29:08,366
we might reinstate them.
729
00:29:08,391 --> 00:29:10,523
No, let me do them for you.
730
00:29:10,548 --> 00:29:12,438
- Ok, do it.
- Oh, heavens!
731
00:29:12,652 --> 00:29:14,749
Are you very much longer?
It's freezing in here.
732
00:29:14,774 --> 00:29:16,240
It's more of a movement thing.
733
00:29:16,265 --> 00:29:17,631
Move? Fadge can help.
734
00:29:17,656 --> 00:29:20,991
Lines, lies...you see...
did you see what I mean?
735
00:29:23,250 --> 00:29:24,400
Careful, careful.
736
00:29:24,425 --> 00:29:25,861
Worry about press?
737
00:29:26,582 --> 00:29:28,869
Can't we get the flock sorted out?
738
00:29:28,995 --> 00:29:30,336
And I thought I could
rip the shirt off
739
00:29:30,361 --> 00:29:32,097
and sort of absail
down from the organ
740
00:29:32,122 --> 00:29:33,385
for "where is my father?"
741
00:29:33,410 --> 00:29:35,097
They do some wonderful body oils now.
742
00:29:35,122 --> 00:29:36,898
I don't want her to wear glasses!
743
00:29:36,923 --> 00:29:39,001
Right. You fell over the balcony
getting into bed last night.
744
00:29:39,026 --> 00:29:40,732
Doesn't the light read on this?
745
00:29:40,757 --> 00:29:42,939
I think a big nose would be great.
746
00:29:43,328 --> 00:29:46,069
Did you see Cyrano De Bergerac?
That kinda size.
747
00:29:46,094 --> 00:29:48,037
I want 2 shoulder pads.
He's gotta be butch.
748
00:29:48,062 --> 00:29:50,230
Now, look, you're actually
gonna have to be me
749
00:29:50,255 --> 00:29:53,125
during these rehearsals.
So I can watch the scenes.
750
00:29:53,150 --> 00:29:56,597
Oh, great! Thanks for the warning.
So unlike you.
751
00:29:57,031 --> 00:29:58,718
How does Herr Direktor
rehearse his part?
752
00:29:58,743 --> 00:30:01,571
Oh, we'll find time. And
I'll make all your best bits.
753
00:30:01,596 --> 00:30:03,333
Seem to remember you were
rather better than me
754
00:30:03,358 --> 00:30:05,623
during all those amateur dramatics.
755
00:30:05,671 --> 00:30:07,648
Well, yes, 'cause
that's where I do it.
756
00:30:07,673 --> 00:30:09,506
As opposed to thinking
people might pay me to do it.
757
00:30:09,531 --> 00:30:11,735
Yes. Horrible concept,
that, isn't it?
758
00:30:11,760 --> 00:30:13,758
- It's caught me out before now.
- But you still persist.
759
00:30:13,783 --> 00:30:16,297
Just about. I think this is
what we call the last gasp.
760
00:30:16,322 --> 00:30:20,357
So why don't you make it easier on
yourself this time by doing a comedy or
761
00:30:20,382 --> 00:30:22,802
something somebody
might be interested to see?
762
00:30:22,827 --> 00:30:25,914
Yeah, well, that's where you
and me part company as always.
763
00:30:25,939 --> 00:30:28,631
I think if we do this with
humor, passion, and reality,
764
00:30:28,656 --> 00:30:30,362
people will be interested
in seeing it.
765
00:30:30,387 --> 00:30:33,648
I saw this play when I was 15.
It changed my life!
766
00:30:33,673 --> 00:30:35,193
You don't forget that!
767
00:30:35,883 --> 00:30:37,414
I don't think I was
any different then
768
00:30:37,439 --> 00:30:39,757
from your hormonally
confused kids now.
769
00:30:39,782 --> 00:30:42,210
All I was ever interested in
was girls and wanking.
770
00:30:42,235 --> 00:30:43,861
Unfortunately, hardly
ever in that order.
771
00:30:43,886 --> 00:30:45,310
I saw this play.
772
00:30:45,335 --> 00:30:48,040
It spoke to my heart and my head
773
00:30:48,358 --> 00:30:49,588
and my chief reproductive organ.
774
00:30:49,613 --> 00:30:51,947
Will that go in the program notes?
775
00:30:54,017 --> 00:30:57,024
(Fadge): Release the pain.
Get out, get out!
776
00:30:57,422 --> 00:31:01,289
Drive it away!
Up and down and up and down,
777
00:31:01,314 --> 00:31:03,901
and out of your heads,
out of your heads.
778
00:31:03,926 --> 00:31:06,904
Feel the pain in your body,
feel it out, and get it out.
779
00:31:06,929 --> 00:31:09,302
You don't like it.
780
00:31:09,409 --> 00:31:11,844
And it becomes a train of fear.
781
00:31:11,869 --> 00:31:14,344
A train of fear.
782
00:31:14,369 --> 00:31:16,799
Get out! And we cry out.
783
00:31:17,036 --> 00:31:20,001
- And we cry out.
- Whoo woo!
784
00:31:20,026 --> 00:31:22,555
(All): Whoo woo!
785
00:31:24,733 --> 00:31:25,997
Who's there?
786
00:31:26,022 --> 00:31:27,938
Great! Terrific.
787
00:31:28,173 --> 00:31:29,973
Huge potential.
788
00:31:30,666 --> 00:31:31,946
Sorry.
789
00:31:33,596 --> 00:31:35,135
- It's a bit limp.
- Limp?
790
00:31:35,160 --> 00:31:36,794
You know, he's just seen a ghost.
791
00:31:36,819 --> 00:31:38,687
He's probably expecting
to see another one.
792
00:31:38,712 --> 00:31:42,521
Hamlet is a tremendous
ghost story.
793
00:31:42,574 --> 00:31:45,343
Now, I want to see that fear.
I want to smell that fear.
794
00:31:45,368 --> 00:31:47,969
I see. That's good. Fear.
795
00:31:48,816 --> 00:31:49,890
All right.
796
00:31:50,153 --> 00:31:51,655
Let's start again.
797
00:31:59,066 --> 00:32:00,352
(Same as before) Who's there?!
798
00:32:00,576 --> 00:32:02,296
No, no.
799
00:32:05,989 --> 00:32:07,172
It...it still
doesn't convince me.
800
00:32:07,197 --> 00:32:10,562
Let's just take a little time out here
to ground this in some sort of reality.
801
00:32:10,587 --> 00:32:15,005
You tell me, Carnforth, when was the last
time that you were really terrified?
802
00:32:15,030 --> 00:32:16,214
Can you remember when that was.
803
00:32:16,239 --> 00:32:18,685
- Or if there was such a time?
- Um...
804
00:32:19,487 --> 00:32:21,303
Yes! I can remember.
805
00:32:21,328 --> 00:32:25,291
Um... I was on my way to have
Sunday lunch with my mum.
806
00:32:25,529 --> 00:32:28,290
It was her birthday,
I remember. Bit overdue.
807
00:32:28,315 --> 00:32:31,205
And... got a flat tire
on the motorway.
808
00:32:31,463 --> 00:32:33,238
Well, it was...
809
00:32:33,444 --> 00:32:36,644
Touch and go whether I was
gonna get there in time.
810
00:32:36,749 --> 00:32:38,443
Pretty terrified then, you know?
811
00:32:38,468 --> 00:32:41,213
And how did this terror
manifest itself?
812
00:32:41,364 --> 00:32:44,434
Well...
It probably took a little longer
813
00:32:44,459 --> 00:32:49,226
to change the tire than it would have...
hands shaking, that sort of thing.
814
00:32:49,903 --> 00:32:53,287
Right. Ok. Let's bring
that situation here.
815
00:32:53,946 --> 00:32:55,447
That fear.
816
00:32:56,999 --> 00:32:59,845
Right. All right!
Let's have another go!
817
00:33:07,402 --> 00:33:08,822
Who's there?!
818
00:33:08,997 --> 00:33:10,726
No, you don't have to change the tire!
819
00:33:10,751 --> 00:33:13,382
I'm so sorry. Sorry,everybody.
820
00:33:14,174 --> 00:33:16,627
- Tricky first morning.
- Yes. - Yes.
821
00:33:16,803 --> 00:33:19,000
First scenes are
always so difficult.
822
00:33:19,025 --> 00:33:21,774
I can feel the production
in here already.
823
00:33:22,103 --> 00:33:23,559
I can feel your pain.
824
00:33:23,584 --> 00:33:25,757
- Can you, Tom?
- Relax.
825
00:33:26,769 --> 00:33:27,964
Ah!
826
00:33:28,190 --> 00:33:30,897
But now, my cousin Hamlet, and my son.
827
00:33:30,922 --> 00:33:32,955
A little more than kin
and less than kind.
828
00:33:32,980 --> 00:33:35,406
How is it that the clouds
still hang on you?
829
00:33:35,431 --> 00:33:37,848
Not so, my lord.
I am too much in the sun.
830
00:33:37,873 --> 00:33:41,000
(Campy voice) Good Hamlet,
cast thy nighted color off,
831
00:33:41,025 --> 00:33:44,182
and let thine eye look
like a friend on Denmark.
832
00:33:44,207 --> 00:33:45,603
Is he gonna play it like that?
833
00:33:45,628 --> 00:33:47,941
- Like what, you rude girl?
- Like Larry the Lamb on speed.
834
00:33:47,989 --> 00:33:49,504
Right. Just stop both of you there.
835
00:33:49,529 --> 00:33:51,729
Henry, if you'll leave the
interruptions to me. Thank you.
836
00:33:51,754 --> 00:33:54,123
Terry, look, I am slightly
concerned about the voice.
837
00:33:54,148 --> 00:33:56,841
The general movement's fine,
but the voice is just a little...
838
00:33:56,866 --> 00:33:58,933
it's what they all do,
all the grand dames.
839
00:33:58,958 --> 00:34:00,322
They don't talk like
they do in the real world.
840
00:34:00,347 --> 00:34:03,008
They put on the old secret gravel, the
treasured trill, the emotional break
841
00:34:03,033 --> 00:34:04,961
middle of the line,
the operatic cadenza.
842
00:34:04,986 --> 00:34:06,186
I'm not making it up. They do!
843
00:34:06,201 --> 00:34:07,600
Sure, and sometimes it's very good,
844
00:34:07,625 --> 00:34:09,992
and sometimes they're very wrong, and
they give Shakespeare a bad name.
845
00:34:10,017 --> 00:34:11,267
Technically, it is brilliant,
846
00:34:11,292 --> 00:34:13,600
but you just don't
sound like a human being.
847
00:34:13,625 --> 00:34:15,752
- More like a robot with piles.
- That's not what I meant.
848
00:34:15,777 --> 00:34:17,777
It's what I hear when I go
to the classical theater.
849
00:34:17,802 --> 00:34:19,791
I thought that's what you did.
850
00:34:20,554 --> 00:34:22,049
Have a little think about
something more natural.
851
00:34:22,074 --> 00:34:23,698
I think you'll do it brilliantly.
852
00:34:23,723 --> 00:34:24,723
All right, here we go!
853
00:34:24,737 --> 00:34:26,510
Actually, Terry,
something to be aware of.
854
00:34:26,535 --> 00:34:29,405
Somebody told me about it.
You must be very careful
855
00:34:29,430 --> 00:34:32,030
you don't invert your
opening line as Gertrude.
856
00:34:32,055 --> 00:34:33,804
Apparently, there's
quite a famous cock up.
857
00:34:33,829 --> 00:34:36,822
Instead of saying, "good Hamlet,
cast thy nighted color off,"
858
00:34:36,847 --> 00:34:41,427
you can end up saying, "good Hamlet,
cast off thy colored nightie."
859
00:34:43,385 --> 00:34:46,673
I mean...I mean, you probably
won't do that yourself. I just...
860
00:34:48,820 --> 00:34:50,129
Anyone like some tea?
861
00:34:50,280 --> 00:34:52,209
- Bloody landlord!
- What?
862
00:34:52,518 --> 00:34:55,270
- Well, you know you paid the rent.
- Yeah. 3 weeks in advance.
863
00:34:55,295 --> 00:34:57,844
He says he wants a week's rent out
of that for unpaid electricity bills
864
00:34:57,869 --> 00:34:59,511
that he says the school's liable for!
865
00:34:59,536 --> 00:35:02,107
- Are you liable?
- Of course not! That..
866
00:35:02,132 --> 00:35:03,107
Challenge it!
867
00:35:03,132 --> 00:35:05,313
Well, we will, but he's
stalling until after Christmas.
868
00:35:05,338 --> 00:35:08,187
- Oh! Can he do that?
- Of course not, but he's a shit,
869
00:35:08,212 --> 00:35:10,148
and he already has your cash.
870
00:35:10,259 --> 00:35:12,380
- What does that mean?
- As far as he concerned
871
00:35:12,381 --> 00:35:14,225
he wants another week's rent,
or he'll turn us out.
872
00:35:14,250 --> 00:35:16,114
- We won't go.
- Then, he says he'll cut
873
00:35:16,139 --> 00:35:18,790
- all the services off: water,
gas, electric. - Can he?
874
00:35:18,815 --> 00:35:21,100
I've spoken to the council.
He's within his rights.
875
00:35:21,141 --> 00:35:22,217
If us or the school don't pay up,
876
00:35:22,242 --> 00:35:23,867
we've contravened the terms
of a special performing...
877
00:35:23,892 --> 00:35:26,637
- We don't have time for that!
- I didn't plan it, Joe!
878
00:35:26,662 --> 00:35:27,784
Well, when is his deadline?
879
00:35:27,809 --> 00:35:29,773
- End of the final week, day
before we open. - Or?
880
00:35:29,798 --> 00:35:31,497
He'll send his mates in
to close us down!
881
00:35:31,522 --> 00:35:34,858
- Christ! I don't have £700!
- Well, neither do I!
882
00:35:35,554 --> 00:35:37,721
All right. Think something.
883
00:35:38,123 --> 00:35:39,688
Don't tell the actors.
884
00:35:40,148 --> 00:35:43,940
Hello. Sorry to interrupt.
I just came to say well done!
885
00:35:44,347 --> 00:35:46,529
Both of you. Wonderful first day.
886
00:35:46,554 --> 00:35:49,013
You were so brave, so very exciting.
887
00:35:49,092 --> 00:35:51,149
Oh, thanks very much, Nina.
888
00:35:51,333 --> 00:35:52,521
Are you going out for the evening?
889
00:35:52,547 --> 00:35:54,183
Oh, no. It's Tom's turn to cook.
890
00:35:54,208 --> 00:35:55,865
We're having vegetarian steak
and kicky pudding.
891
00:35:55,890 --> 00:35:57,573
I wouldn't miss that for the world.
892
00:35:57,598 --> 00:36:00,326
I'm just off to the phone box.
I'll see you later.
893
00:36:02,070 --> 00:36:04,748
- Who's she off to ring?
- Her husband.
894
00:36:04,779 --> 00:36:07,604
HAMLET
OPENING AT XMAS EVE - LIVE HERE
895
00:36:09,074 --> 00:36:12,757
Well, boss. Another day,
another .00001 of a dollar.
896
00:36:13,242 --> 00:36:15,988
- How was it for you?
- Not without its moments Vernon.
897
00:36:19,520 --> 00:36:21,742
VERNON SPATCH
AS POLONIUS
898
00:36:21,790 --> 00:36:24,170
Not bad, eh? Just a bit of fun.
899
00:36:24,259 --> 00:36:26,997
No. It works very well.
A little understated, I fear.
900
00:36:27,022 --> 00:36:29,497
Well, it's worth it
just to see Henry's face.
901
00:36:29,522 --> 00:36:31,221
By the way, boss,
are you considering
902
00:36:31,246 --> 00:36:32,721
having anyone come
to see this thing?
903
00:36:32,746 --> 00:36:35,094
First things first.
We gotta get the show right.
904
00:36:35,119 --> 00:36:36,457
Yeah, but what about
the tickets?
905
00:36:36,482 --> 00:36:38,314
The box office,
cash advance, advertising.
906
00:36:38,339 --> 00:36:41,032
That's all in hand. They listed up
a box office at Molly's school,
907
00:36:41,057 --> 00:36:42,675
and people can book
through her home number.
908
00:36:42,700 --> 00:36:44,968
Fadge has agreed to do
the catering front of house.
909
00:36:44,993 --> 00:36:47,479
- How many have booked so far?
- Well, figures at this time of year
910
00:36:47,504 --> 00:36:49,811
can be a little misleading...
Christmas shopping, etc.
911
00:36:49,836 --> 00:36:51,163
Has anyone booked?
912
00:36:51,188 --> 00:36:52,345
We're looking at business
mainly on the night.
913
00:36:52,370 --> 00:36:54,561
- No one's booking.
- Not yet. No.
914
00:36:54,684 --> 00:36:57,448
I've got a little cash flow
problem with the landlord.
915
00:36:57,473 --> 00:36:59,574
Oh, no, Joe, not again.
You promised.
916
00:36:59,599 --> 00:37:01,431
Yeah. I'm just a bit stuck.
917
00:37:01,456 --> 00:37:03,479
Unstick yourself, darling.
Can't you reason with him?
918
00:37:03,504 --> 00:37:05,582
I don't think so.
He's got some very strong
919
00:37:05,607 --> 00:37:07,645
and very persuasive friends
in the building trade.
920
00:37:07,670 --> 00:37:10,378
You'll think of something.
How's your Hamlet?
921
00:37:10,403 --> 00:37:11,949
A little underdone at the moment.
922
00:37:11,974 --> 00:37:13,743
Molly's mainly filling in for me,
923
00:37:13,768 --> 00:37:15,124
and she's rather good,
too, the bitch.
924
00:37:15,149 --> 00:37:16,545
Don't underestimate yourself, darling.
925
00:37:16,570 --> 00:37:18,737
I don't want to drag
reluctant casting directors
926
00:37:18,762 --> 00:37:20,159
down there and see you being bad.
927
00:37:20,184 --> 00:37:21,588
No, no, understood.
928
00:37:21,648 --> 00:37:25,018
And, darling, more dramas
on the Dylan Judd front.
929
00:37:25,043 --> 00:37:27,923
Apparently, she wants billing
and a personal trainer.
930
00:37:27,948 --> 00:37:30,169
Contract's not signed,
filming imminent.
931
00:37:30,194 --> 00:37:31,988
She is pushing her luck.
932
00:37:32,013 --> 00:37:34,277
- I do wish him well.
- I'll keep you posted.
933
00:37:34,302 --> 00:37:36,230
Are you feeling less suicidal now?
934
00:37:36,255 --> 00:37:37,521
I suppose so.
935
00:37:37,777 --> 00:37:39,877
Then it's working. Marvelous.
936
00:37:40,611 --> 00:37:43,113
- Good night, sweet prince.
- Good night.
937
00:37:49,122 --> 00:37:54,095
- And let him play his music!
- Well, my lord.
938
00:37:54,120 --> 00:37:55,219
Farewell!
939
00:37:55,387 --> 00:37:56,951
(Joe): What was that?
940
00:37:57,467 --> 00:37:59,577
Listen, it's...it's a bit, um...
941
00:37:59,914 --> 00:38:01,047
- Much?
- Yeah. I mean,
942
00:38:01,072 --> 00:38:02,191
I don't know if the nose
is going to your head,
943
00:38:02,216 --> 00:38:04,474
if you pardon the expression, but I'm
getting more Shylock than Polonius.
944
00:38:04,499 --> 00:38:06,395
Well, I like to be bold early on,
945
00:38:06,420 --> 00:38:07,833
but I get the message, chief.
946
00:38:07,858 --> 00:38:09,963
- Basically, it's, uh, L.C.A.
- Hmm?
947
00:38:09,988 --> 00:38:12,396
- Less crap acting. - Ah. That's
about the size of it. Thank you.
948
00:38:12,421 --> 00:38:13,547
Tom. Yes, darling.
949
00:38:13,572 --> 00:38:15,357
- Your accent...
- You noticed it?
950
00:38:15,382 --> 00:38:16,548
Yeah. I think you have
to come from Pluto
951
00:38:16,573 --> 00:38:17,810
- not to notice it.
- Good, good.
952
00:38:17,835 --> 00:38:21,165
Yeah. Unfortunately, I think you have
to come from Pluto to understand it.
953
00:38:21,190 --> 00:38:23,902
Well, it has to be different, darling.
I mean, I am playing a lot of roles,
954
00:38:23,927 --> 00:38:25,466
however small some of them are now.
955
00:38:25,491 --> 00:38:26,902
I want each one to be distinct.
956
00:38:26,927 --> 00:38:28,899
Now, I've taken my
cue from his name...
957
00:38:28,924 --> 00:38:31,101
Reynaldo. You know, reynard.
958
00:38:31,126 --> 00:38:33,694
Sort of foxy. Hence, the accent.
959
00:38:33,966 --> 00:38:35,901
- A foxy accent?
- Well, you see,
960
00:38:35,926 --> 00:38:39,248
I asked myself,
"how would a fox speak?"
961
00:38:39,897 --> 00:38:41,769
Rather covert, rather secretive.
962
00:38:41,794 --> 00:38:44,540
I'm getting more Russian
than secretive or foxy.
963
00:38:44,565 --> 00:38:45,832
Yeah. Let me work on it, yeah?
964
00:38:45,857 --> 00:38:48,071
All right. Thank you.
Ok. Here we go.
965
00:38:48,096 --> 00:38:50,020
Joe. Uh, um, just before
we do my entrance,
966
00:38:50,045 --> 00:38:51,785
I wondered if I could
try something.
967
00:38:51,810 --> 00:38:53,036
Yes. Certainly, Nina. What?
968
00:38:53,061 --> 00:38:54,775
Um, well, I was thinking about
969
00:38:54,800 --> 00:38:55,949
bearing in mind what you were saying
970
00:38:55,974 --> 00:38:57,224
to Carnforth the other day, you know,
971
00:38:57,249 --> 00:38:58,639
about fear and everything.
972
00:38:58,664 --> 00:39:00,284
And I was sort of thinking, um,
973
00:39:00,309 --> 00:39:02,806
f-for this scene,
she really ought to be, um...
974
00:39:02,831 --> 00:39:04,883
- Genuinely scared to bits?
- Exactly. Good.
975
00:39:04,908 --> 00:39:07,438
I mean, almost violent. Hysterical.
976
00:39:07,463 --> 00:39:10,016
- Right. Yeah.
- Just preparing the audience slightly
977
00:39:10,041 --> 00:39:11,334
for later on when she goes mad,
978
00:39:11,359 --> 00:39:13,048
and just so that we can really see
979
00:39:13,073 --> 00:39:14,881
the effect that Hamlet
has on her, you know,
980
00:39:14,919 --> 00:39:17,325
and the effect
of seeing his flesh.
981
00:39:17,601 --> 00:39:18,958
The sexual threat, you know?
982
00:39:18,998 --> 00:39:21,931
Um, just sort of very much
out of control almost.
983
00:39:21,956 --> 00:39:23,662
Excellent. Right. You try it.
984
00:39:23,687 --> 00:39:26,067
- All right. Ok.
- Ok, here we go, then.
985
00:39:26,092 --> 00:39:27,825
In your own time.
986
00:39:31,152 --> 00:39:33,151
Good-bye, thee. Fare ye well.
987
00:39:33,425 --> 00:39:34,454
Good my lord.
988
00:39:34,479 --> 00:39:36,549
And let him play his music.
989
00:39:36,725 --> 00:39:39,058
Well, my lord. Farewell.
990
00:39:40,186 --> 00:39:43,666
Oh, my lord!
991
00:39:43,691 --> 00:39:46,548
I've been so affrighted!
992
00:39:46,931 --> 00:39:51,542
Oh!
993
00:39:55,033 --> 00:39:56,325
If that girl makes it
to the first night
994
00:39:56,350 --> 00:39:58,723
without serious accident,
I'll be amazed.
995
00:39:58,748 --> 00:40:01,909
Oh. She does seem to have a bit
of a vision problem, doesn't she?
996
00:40:01,934 --> 00:40:03,088
She's brushed her teeth with soap
997
00:40:03,113 --> 00:40:04,900
for the last 3 nights,
but she won't admit it.
998
00:40:04,925 --> 00:40:06,577
Yeah. She's a stubborn
old thing, isn't she,
999
00:40:06,623 --> 00:40:08,267
- underneath all that dizzy stuff?
- Oh!
1000
00:40:08,292 --> 00:40:09,696
But nice. Very nice.
1001
00:40:09,888 --> 00:40:12,117
Oh, buggering!
1002
00:40:12,405 --> 00:40:13,587
Are you all right?
1003
00:40:13,612 --> 00:40:16,504
No. It's these bloody costumes.
1004
00:40:16,891 --> 00:40:18,174
I brought every period with me,
1005
00:40:18,199 --> 00:40:20,442
but I can't quite decide
and it's getting a bit...
1006
00:40:20,530 --> 00:40:21,796
Late in the day?
1007
00:40:21,821 --> 00:40:24,347
Don't say that, for god's sake.
1008
00:40:24,852 --> 00:40:26,980
You're very impressive
with that crossword.
1009
00:40:27,005 --> 00:40:29,204
Well, you know what the secret is?
1010
00:40:29,229 --> 00:40:31,049
I don't answer any of the clues.
1011
00:40:31,074 --> 00:40:34,777
- What do you mean?
- Well, I just... take my time,
1012
00:40:36,027 --> 00:40:38,182
fill in all the empty boxes.
1013
00:40:39,580 --> 00:40:41,547
Any old letters will do.
1014
00:40:43,073 --> 00:40:45,887
I've always been terrible
at the bloody things, but
1015
00:40:45,912 --> 00:40:48,850
it takes my mind off the
godawful business of acting.
1016
00:40:48,875 --> 00:40:51,135
Is your name really
Carnforth Greville?
1017
00:40:51,160 --> 00:40:54,695
No. It's Keith Branch.
1018
00:40:56,150 --> 00:40:58,450
I just pinched one
that I thought had the
1019
00:40:58,475 --> 00:41:00,914
requisite amount
of mystery and glamour.
1020
00:41:00,939 --> 00:41:02,369
What do your parents think?
1021
00:41:02,394 --> 00:41:04,636
They were rather
disappointed, actually.
1022
00:41:04,661 --> 00:41:06,173
Well, they'd done
a lot of scrimping
1023
00:41:06,198 --> 00:41:08,512
to put me through
the drama school, and
1024
00:41:08,537 --> 00:41:12,218
well, um, well, they...
they really believed in me.
1025
00:41:12,536 --> 00:41:13,899
Mom, especially.
1026
00:41:15,344 --> 00:41:19,422
I don't think I've dealt with
parental expectation terribly well.
1027
00:41:19,447 --> 00:41:22,479
What about you?
Were you christened Fadge?
1028
00:41:22,741 --> 00:41:25,631
Hardly. I was christened Mildred.
1029
00:41:26,076 --> 00:41:28,713
Not the name to have if you
seek distinction as a designer,
1030
00:41:28,738 --> 00:41:30,718
which I rather pitifully did.
1031
00:41:30,743 --> 00:41:33,146
But I was adopted, you see, so, I
didn't think it really mattered.
1032
00:41:33,171 --> 00:41:35,954
- I think it's rather sweet.
- Thank you, Keith.
1033
00:41:35,979 --> 00:41:37,659
My pleasure, Mildred.
1034
00:41:37,765 --> 00:41:40,286
'Tis rather fun, all this,
sometimes, isn't it?
1035
00:41:40,311 --> 00:41:43,379
Mmm. 'Tis rather.
1036
00:41:45,191 --> 00:41:47,383
Oh! I've just got another clue.
1037
00:41:47,408 --> 00:41:50,467
So, why no glasses, eh?
Or...I don't know.
1038
00:41:50,492 --> 00:41:52,151
I don't know, either.
1039
00:41:52,176 --> 00:41:54,253
I don't want to see the world
in sharp focus.
1040
00:41:54,278 --> 00:41:55,994
- Why?
- Because it's horrible.
1041
00:41:56,019 --> 00:41:57,092
You really think so?
1042
00:41:57,117 --> 00:41:59,152
You were always so amazingly
positive and bright.
1043
00:41:59,177 --> 00:42:01,189
- And dizzy.
- No, I didn't say that.
1044
00:42:01,214 --> 00:42:03,387
It's what my dad says
on the phone every night.
1045
00:42:03,412 --> 00:42:04,981
He thinks this whole thing
of being an actress
1046
00:42:05,006 --> 00:42:08,030
and working in the theater is
just a terrible passing phase.
1047
00:42:08,055 --> 00:42:09,830
I'm sure he's very proud, really.
1048
00:42:09,855 --> 00:42:12,500
I hoped he would be
if he came to see it.
1049
00:42:12,525 --> 00:42:14,762
It was my first proper part.
1050
00:42:17,524 --> 00:42:20,976
Still... I expect your husband
gives you his support.
1051
00:42:22,564 --> 00:42:24,113
Yeah. He does, in his way.
1052
00:42:24,138 --> 00:42:27,139
I'm sorry? Well,
does he live very far away?
1053
00:42:27,417 --> 00:42:28,726
He's dead.
1054
00:42:29,631 --> 00:42:32,416
It's all right.
Just one of those things.
1055
00:42:32,441 --> 00:42:35,448
One of those ghastly,
bloody awful things.
1056
00:42:35,620 --> 00:42:36,682
Was he ill?
1057
00:42:36,707 --> 00:42:39,753
No. It's much more stupid
and absurd than that.
1058
00:42:40,555 --> 00:42:43,511
He was a fighter pilot. Really.
1059
00:42:44,754 --> 00:42:48,127
A great dancer
and a very good fighter pilot.
1060
00:42:48,502 --> 00:42:50,169
But he crashed.
1061
00:42:50,194 --> 00:42:52,782
A mid-air collision
at tremendous speed.
1062
00:42:52,807 --> 00:42:55,857
A one-in-a-million chance
in the lake district.
1063
00:42:55,882 --> 00:42:57,882
It was a beautiful day.
1064
00:42:58,073 --> 00:43:00,206
But then, I suppose it usually is.
1065
00:43:00,256 --> 00:43:01,822
Not that that makes it
any easier.
1066
00:43:01,847 --> 00:43:05,714
- How old was he?
- 33. Christ died at 33.
1067
00:43:06,140 --> 00:43:08,488
Rather more painfully,
I suppose.
1068
00:43:09,846 --> 00:43:11,553
What did you do
when it happened?
1069
00:43:11,578 --> 00:43:13,593
Went to pieces. The usual.
1070
00:43:13,828 --> 00:43:16,760
Then after a while, you start to
put your life back together again.
1071
00:43:16,872 --> 00:43:18,642
Martin always used to say that.
1072
00:43:18,667 --> 00:43:20,472
Life's a silly old business.
1073
00:43:20,497 --> 00:43:22,846
You fall down, you get up.
1074
00:43:23,119 --> 00:43:24,784
Literally, in my case.
1075
00:43:25,650 --> 00:43:27,712
Had you always been in the theater?
1076
00:43:27,736 --> 00:43:29,950
Oh, no. I was in the services.
1077
00:43:30,031 --> 00:43:32,832
Service family. R.A.F., of course.
1078
00:43:33,099 --> 00:43:34,757
Theater's all a lot of nonsense.
1079
00:43:34,782 --> 00:43:37,015
Spare-time stuff if you had to.
1080
00:43:37,688 --> 00:43:39,779
Martin was different, though.
1081
00:43:39,804 --> 00:43:43,295
He always believed I could be
a grownup actress.
1082
00:43:45,630 --> 00:43:48,179
I think you're
a very grownup actress.
1083
00:43:49,198 --> 00:43:51,902
O, my offense is rank.
1084
00:43:54,635 --> 00:43:57,370
Can you rehearse
on something harder?
1085
00:43:57,395 --> 00:44:00,234
So full of artless
jealousy is guilt.
1086
00:44:00,783 --> 00:44:04,043
It spills itself
in feeling to be spleat.
1087
00:44:04,202 --> 00:44:06,113
In sleeving to be feet.
1088
00:44:06,528 --> 00:44:08,406
If...oh, god. If I don't get
through that sentence again
1089
00:44:08,431 --> 00:44:09,406
I'll lose a filling.
1090
00:44:09,431 --> 00:44:12,300
- Die! Die!
- Unh! Ahh! Oh! - Die! Die!
1091
00:44:12,325 --> 00:44:14,918
Ah! Eh! Oh!
1092
00:44:15,592 --> 00:44:18,338
Ah. Ah. Ah.
1093
00:44:19,077 --> 00:44:20,774
Where would you like it?
1094
00:44:20,799 --> 00:44:23,101
I mean, when I stagger out
dramatically from behind the arras?
1095
00:44:23,126 --> 00:44:25,080
It could be anywhere
with Hamlet at this stage.
1096
00:44:25,105 --> 00:44:27,112
He hardly knows
his arras from his elbow.
1097
00:44:27,137 --> 00:44:28,169
(Both): Ho ho.
1098
00:44:28,501 --> 00:44:33,217
Go, captain... from
the great Danish king.
1099
00:44:33,496 --> 00:44:34,725
Tell him
1100
00:44:37,304 --> 00:44:39,226
that by his license,
1101
00:44:39,251 --> 00:44:42,964
Fortinbras craves the conveyance
1102
00:44:42,989 --> 00:44:46,857
of a promised march
over his kingdom.
1103
00:44:46,882 --> 00:44:48,539
You know the rendezvous.
1104
00:44:48,564 --> 00:44:50,197
Tom, I just don't get it.
1105
00:44:50,643 --> 00:44:51,829
Norwegian, darling. Norwegian.
1106
00:44:51,854 --> 00:44:53,287
All those fields and
little mount herrings.
1107
00:44:53,289 --> 00:44:54,655
They walk differently,
they talk differently.
1108
00:44:54,657 --> 00:44:56,877
They do come from planet Earth.
1109
00:44:59,942 --> 00:45:01,141
This isn't easy, Joe.
1110
00:45:01,166 --> 00:45:02,837
And Guildenstern,
and Guildenstern.
1111
00:45:02,862 --> 00:45:04,441
And Rosencrantz,
and Rosencrantz.
1112
00:45:04,466 --> 00:45:07,663
My honored lord,
my most dear lord.
1113
00:45:07,688 --> 00:45:09,218
My honored lord.
1114
00:45:09,243 --> 00:45:10,798
What have I done?
1115
00:45:10,823 --> 00:45:13,440
HAMLET
OPENING XMAS EVE
1116
00:45:13,654 --> 00:45:15,876
(Joe): Well, that was
an extraordinary first week.
1117
00:45:15,901 --> 00:45:17,299
No one said it would be easy.
1118
00:45:17,324 --> 00:45:19,861
It's a big play, and we've
covered every scene...
1119
00:45:19,886 --> 00:45:21,073
In shit.
1120
00:45:21,380 --> 00:45:24,076
And that in itself
is a great achievement.
1121
00:45:25,062 --> 00:45:28,505
Now, I think we have to worry a little less
about the exterior of these characters.
1122
00:45:28,688 --> 00:45:31,339
The clothes, walks,
and accents, et cetera,
1123
00:45:31,364 --> 00:45:35,220
and concentrate a little more on each
individual's needs, their drives.
1124
00:45:35,245 --> 00:45:37,042
What is it they want and need.
1125
00:45:37,067 --> 00:45:39,425
Why they do what they do, not how.
1126
00:45:40,091 --> 00:45:44,209
The how will take care of itself
if we ask always, "why, why, why?"
1127
00:45:44,234 --> 00:45:45,614
Believe me, darling,
I've been asking.
1128
00:45:45,639 --> 00:45:47,510
Now, if we can use
that energy, that hunger,
1129
00:45:47,535 --> 00:45:49,058
the very hunger
that has brought us here
1130
00:45:49,067 --> 00:45:50,598
for this unique opportunity,
1131
00:45:50,623 --> 00:45:53,335
I think you'll find that the play
will give you back a great deal.
1132
00:45:53,360 --> 00:45:55,711
You have to trust yourselves.
1133
00:45:55,881 --> 00:45:57,921
We have to trust ourselves.
1134
00:45:57,946 --> 00:46:00,173
You have a great deal to offer.
1135
00:46:01,195 --> 00:46:02,830
Both to each other
and to the audiences,
1136
00:46:02,855 --> 00:46:05,719
and do remember, please, it is
only the end of the first week.
1137
00:46:05,744 --> 00:46:09,138
Yes. The problem is, love,
there is no second week.
1138
00:46:09,163 --> 00:46:12,552
We have 4 more days before
the technical rehearsal,
1139
00:46:12,577 --> 00:46:14,743
one dress rehearsal
on Christmas eve afternoon,
1140
00:46:14,768 --> 00:46:17,167
- and on in the evening.
- Yes. We've set ourselves a challenge.
1141
00:46:17,192 --> 00:46:20,450
That there is no doubt, but at
Shakespeare's own theater
1142
00:46:20,612 --> 00:46:21,961
a 6-week season
would have produced
1143
00:46:21,963 --> 00:46:23,979
35 performances
of 17 different plays,
1144
00:46:24,004 --> 00:46:26,396
including at times
4 world premieres.
1145
00:46:26,421 --> 00:46:27,887
So, as Polonius says,
1146
00:46:28,067 --> 00:46:29,736
"sometimes brevity can
be the soul of wit."
1147
00:46:29,761 --> 00:46:31,853
I don't think we ought
to lose our nerve.
1148
00:46:32,195 --> 00:46:34,917
Bloody difficult, isn't it,
old Sally Shakespeare?
1149
00:46:34,942 --> 00:46:37,369
- Especially for us new girls.
- Join the club, love.
1150
00:46:37,394 --> 00:46:38,583
Oh, but you've done it before.
1151
00:46:38,608 --> 00:46:39,829
Never. Just seems that way.
1152
00:46:39,854 --> 00:46:43,051
Oh, you minx.
You're full of surprises.
1153
00:46:43,076 --> 00:46:45,609
I know, love.
Just an old bullshitter.
1154
00:46:46,213 --> 00:46:48,760
Always wanted to do
the classics, of course.
1155
00:46:48,785 --> 00:46:52,099
Used to read about the old
Shakespeare companies, you know?
1156
00:46:52,124 --> 00:46:54,258
8 plays in 6 days.
1157
00:46:54,434 --> 00:46:56,727
Traveling from town
to town on a Sunday.
1158
00:46:56,752 --> 00:46:59,810
Hundreds of people waving the
actors off from the platform.
1159
00:46:59,835 --> 00:47:01,254
So romantic.
1160
00:47:02,197 --> 00:47:04,650
Unfortunately, I was
born out of my time.
1161
00:47:04,675 --> 00:47:06,834
When I joined the business,
all that was gone.
1162
00:47:06,859 --> 00:47:08,816
It was divided in 2.
There was the proper theater,
1163
00:47:08,841 --> 00:47:10,659
you know, Stratford and all that.
1164
00:47:10,684 --> 00:47:12,380
Then there was commercial stuff. Well
1165
00:47:12,381 --> 00:47:14,959
a little suburban boy like me
had no chance of the tights
1166
00:47:14,984 --> 00:47:16,511
and fluffy white shirts.
1167
00:47:16,536 --> 00:47:19,133
I was straight into understudying
old men and "anyone for tennis."
1168
00:47:19,158 --> 00:47:21,894
- So, you haven't really done
any Shakespeare? - No.
1169
00:47:21,919 --> 00:47:25,775
- Must be a bit nervous.
- Total brown trouser job, love.
1170
00:47:25,800 --> 00:47:28,032
You can't show the young
ones your fear, so
1171
00:47:28,057 --> 00:47:30,807
- you cover up by being a crappy old git.
- Well, you're very convincing.
1172
00:47:30,831 --> 00:47:33,787
Mmm. Well, we all have
our crosses to bear.
1173
00:47:34,184 --> 00:47:38,571
Mind you, you know, I do feel as though
I've done it before...the classics.
1174
00:47:38,624 --> 00:47:40,440
Through people
like Irving and Kean.
1175
00:47:40,465 --> 00:47:42,229
I adore Irving.
1176
00:47:43,491 --> 00:47:44,967
You know about him?
1177
00:47:44,992 --> 00:47:46,863
Darling, just 'cause I'm in a
frock at the end of the pier
1178
00:47:46,888 --> 00:47:50,262
doesn't mean I don't have a grasp
for theatrical history, yeah?
1179
00:47:50,579 --> 00:47:52,474
- He was amazing, wasn't he?
- Yeah!
1180
00:47:52,499 --> 00:47:53,872
Oik, just like me.
1181
00:47:54,253 --> 00:47:57,168
A stammer, a limp, every disadvantage.
1182
00:47:57,843 --> 00:48:00,238
And yet, the first actor
ever to be knighted.
1183
00:48:00,263 --> 00:48:02,818
- And he died with his boots on.
- That's right. In harness.
1184
00:48:02,843 --> 00:48:05,490
On tour in Bradford.
What a way to go.
1185
00:48:06,436 --> 00:48:09,086
Mind you, I've died in Bradford
a few times.
1186
00:48:09,374 --> 00:48:10,553
Oh, god.
1187
00:48:11,648 --> 00:48:15,461
God, how weary, stale, flat,
1188
00:48:15,486 --> 00:48:19,224
and unprofitable seem to me
all the uses of this world.
1189
00:48:19,891 --> 00:48:21,842
That's not bad, Sir Laurence.
1190
00:48:21,867 --> 00:48:23,764
Well, I understand
how he feels, Vivien.
1191
00:48:23,789 --> 00:48:25,450
Oh, Christ. What are we
gonna do? I mean,
1192
00:48:25,475 --> 00:48:27,259
this was all
so carefully worked out.
1193
00:48:27,284 --> 00:48:28,466
I mean, based on,
and let's face it,
1194
00:48:28,491 --> 00:48:30,681
an optimistic turnout
of 300 people a night
1195
00:48:30,706 --> 00:48:32,616
for 7 performances,
making an average donation...
1196
00:48:32,641 --> 00:48:34,487
- Donations? - Well, we can't
charge proper ticket prices.
1197
00:48:34,512 --> 00:48:36,048
That's not what it's
about. Anyway, look,
1198
00:48:36,073 --> 00:48:37,791
making an average
donation of £2.50,
1199
00:48:37,816 --> 00:48:39,418
that's £750 per night,
1200
00:48:39,443 --> 00:48:43,045
which makes it 5,250
for the run, less £2,100
1201
00:48:43,070 --> 00:48:46,172
for production budget and rent,
that's £100 per week, per person
1202
00:48:46,197 --> 00:48:49,040
profit share, hopefully,
for 3 weeks for 8 people
1203
00:48:49,065 --> 00:48:52,057
less £150 for first-night drinks
and Christmas dinner,
1204
00:48:52,082 --> 00:48:55,184
less £600 for food and utilities. Anyway,
that brings it all back to nothing,
1205
00:48:55,209 --> 00:48:58,972
and it certainly doesn't match up
£700 for production week rent.
1206
00:48:58,997 --> 00:49:02,899
And anyway, that was based on an idea
of box office advance cash supply
1207
00:49:02,924 --> 00:49:05,033
from which I could borrow money
instead of my credit card,
1208
00:49:05,058 --> 00:49:06,146
which is now kaput.
1209
00:49:06,171 --> 00:49:08,137
Spatch to the rescue, chief.
1210
00:49:08,957 --> 00:49:11,671
Fadge did the board, I ran off
the flyers on my computer.
1211
00:49:11,696 --> 00:49:13,711
I'm gonna trail the streets of Hope.
1212
00:49:13,736 --> 00:49:15,339
You give me the tickets,
I'll sell some live.
1213
00:49:15,364 --> 00:49:16,385
- Oh, that's fantastic!
- Great!
1214
00:49:16,410 --> 00:49:19,083
I also have a booking
at Chelford Castle.
1215
00:49:19,108 --> 00:49:22,169
- What, the ruin?
- Part ruin, part country hotel.
1216
00:49:22,194 --> 00:49:24,181
After your time, love.
The beginning of the attempted
1217
00:49:24,206 --> 00:49:25,776
yuppification of the area.
1218
00:49:25,801 --> 00:49:27,512
A smooth blend of ancient monument,
1219
00:49:27,537 --> 00:49:29,267
and leisure facility. Didn't work.
1220
00:49:29,292 --> 00:49:31,456
Oh, but the hotel does,
for Christmas, anyway.
1221
00:49:31,481 --> 00:49:33,406
It's fully booked,
and they are about to get
1222
00:49:33,431 --> 00:49:36,812
my occasional cabaret act
of crooning and conjuring.
1223
00:49:36,837 --> 00:49:38,583
- Might sell some tickets for Hamlet.
- Or my middle name
1224
00:49:38,608 --> 00:49:39,972
isn't fabulously talented
and modest.
1225
00:49:39,997 --> 00:49:41,229
Oh, Vernon, I love you.
1226
00:49:41,254 --> 00:49:43,222
- In a platonic way, obviously.
- Obviously.
1227
00:49:43,247 --> 00:49:45,552
But then, you do have
a lovely ass.
1228
00:49:47,769 --> 00:49:49,570
This is the very coinage
of your brain,
1229
00:49:49,595 --> 00:49:51,983
this bodiless creation
ecstasy is very cunning in.
1230
00:49:52,008 --> 00:49:54,388
Ecstasy! My pulse, as yours,
doth temperately keep time
1231
00:49:54,413 --> 00:49:55,486
and makes as healthful music.
1232
00:49:55,511 --> 00:49:57,240
It is not madness
that I have uttered.
1233
00:49:57,265 --> 00:49:59,170
Mother, for love of grace,
1234
00:49:59,195 --> 00:50:00,878
lay not that flattering
unction to your soul
1235
00:50:00,903 --> 00:50:03,398
that not your trespass
but my madness speaks.
1236
00:50:03,423 --> 00:50:06,405
It will but skin and film
the ulcerous place
1237
00:50:06,430 --> 00:50:10,217
whilst rank corruption mining
all within infects unseen.
1238
00:50:10,242 --> 00:50:13,253
Confess yourself to heaven!
Repent what's past!
1239
00:50:13,278 --> 00:50:14,832
Avoid what is to come!
1240
00:50:14,857 --> 00:50:17,383
Oh, Hamlet, thou hast
cleft my heart in twain!
1241
00:50:17,408 --> 00:50:18,911
I'm sorry, Joe. I can't go on.
1242
00:50:18,936 --> 00:50:21,283
No! It's terrific, it's terrific.
You must...you must
1243
00:50:21,308 --> 00:50:24,021
you're just avoiding confronting as
an actor, that's all...that's all.
1244
00:50:24,046 --> 00:50:25,610
Look, you have to feel her guilt.
1245
00:50:25,635 --> 00:50:28,340
You have to confess to your son.
1246
00:50:28,365 --> 00:50:31,450
I tried. I tried.
He wouldn't listen.
1247
00:50:31,705 --> 00:50:33,101
Joe.
1248
00:50:36,197 --> 00:50:37,799
(Joe): What?
1249
00:50:38,031 --> 00:50:40,061
A bit close to home, love.
1250
00:50:43,853 --> 00:50:45,912
- When?
- When I was 17.
1251
00:50:46,451 --> 00:50:48,897
The only time I've been with
a girl, before or since.
1252
00:50:48,922 --> 00:50:51,330
- Just once?
- I know. Bull's-eye.
1253
00:50:51,355 --> 00:50:52,925
This girl wasn't firing blanks.
1254
00:50:52,950 --> 00:50:54,325
What did you do?
1255
00:50:54,985 --> 00:50:57,312
Well, I was already halfway
to running off to the circus,
1256
00:50:57,337 --> 00:50:58,817
if you know what I mean.
1257
00:50:58,842 --> 00:51:00,786
She was determined to have the kid.
1258
00:51:00,811 --> 00:51:03,837
Not that I'd have known what to
have done even if she hadn't been.
1259
00:51:04,008 --> 00:51:06,122
Once she found out that
I kicked with the other foot,
1260
00:51:06,147 --> 00:51:08,138
she'd have had nothing
to do with me anyway.
1261
00:51:08,163 --> 00:51:09,374
Do you know where they are?
1262
00:51:09,399 --> 00:51:12,321
They're with family, love.
Kids, too.
1263
00:51:12,523 --> 00:51:14,374
They get a bee in their bonnet
1264
00:51:14,399 --> 00:51:15,700
or turn into Sherlock Holmes
1265
00:51:15,725 --> 00:51:17,871
when it comes to their
real mummy and daddy.
1266
00:51:17,896 --> 00:51:19,970
Christmas eve.
Bradford, as it happens.
1267
00:51:19,995 --> 00:51:22,201
Puss in boots. 4 years ago.
1268
00:51:22,242 --> 00:51:23,541
What happened?
1269
00:51:23,765 --> 00:51:26,197
Well, it was a bit like
that last scene we just did.
1270
00:51:26,372 --> 00:51:28,339
Not quite such a good script.
1271
00:51:28,895 --> 00:51:32,323
I'd abandoned him and his mother,
who he hates for hiding me.
1272
00:51:32,876 --> 00:51:36,162
He was ashamed of my job,
of what I was.
1273
00:51:36,958 --> 00:51:38,058
Am.
1274
00:51:38,791 --> 00:51:41,125
Never wanted to see me again.
1275
00:51:41,608 --> 00:51:44,146
- No surprises.
- He must have been very upset.
1276
00:51:44,171 --> 00:51:46,800
- So was I.
- Have you seen him since?
1277
00:51:46,981 --> 00:51:48,821
Oh, I've written to him.
1278
00:51:49,448 --> 00:51:51,297
I get the occasional card.
1279
00:51:54,135 --> 00:51:55,976
The thing is, Henry,
1280
00:51:56,199 --> 00:51:59,873
this play brings it back more
than I'd have thought possible.
1281
00:52:00,633 --> 00:52:02,853
Shakespeare wasn't stupid.
1282
00:52:02,980 --> 00:52:04,610
Families, you know.
1283
00:52:04,946 --> 00:52:08,313
- They don't work, do they?
- I don't know, love. Never had one.
1284
00:52:08,338 --> 00:52:11,172
Always fancied one,
but never worked out.
1285
00:52:11,416 --> 00:52:13,358
I'll never be able to go on.
1286
00:52:13,383 --> 00:52:16,196
Yes, you will. We both will.
1287
00:52:19,674 --> 00:52:20,841
(Tom): Thought and afflictions.
1288
00:52:20,866 --> 00:52:23,018
Passion. Hell itself.
She turns to...
1289
00:52:23,043 --> 00:52:25,651
Has anyone seen
a bottle of lemonade?
1290
00:52:25,676 --> 00:52:27,706
I believe I've got
a bit of a sore throat.
1291
00:52:27,731 --> 00:52:30,395
- Lemonade?
- Yes, lemonade.
1292
00:52:30,420 --> 00:52:31,954
What's your problem, buster?
1293
00:52:31,979 --> 00:52:35,388
Ok let's go again from Ophelia's
song, and please,
1294
00:52:35,413 --> 00:52:38,060
give this scene
the intensity it deserves.
1295
00:52:38,085 --> 00:52:41,187
You're all shying away
from the power of this play.
1296
00:52:41,489 --> 00:52:43,100
Now, this scene is about loss.
1297
00:52:43,125 --> 00:52:44,804
The loss of sense. Ophelia's madness.
1298
00:52:44,829 --> 00:52:46,861
The loss of a sister.
The loss of a relationship
1299
00:52:46,879 --> 00:52:48,241
between Gertrude and Claudius,
1300
00:52:48,266 --> 00:52:51,228
and crucially, the loss,
and the death of someone
1301
00:52:51,253 --> 00:52:52,676
you have all, in your own ways,
1302
00:52:52,701 --> 00:52:55,034
experienced a profound love for.
1303
00:52:55,285 --> 00:52:57,682
Now that's a human emotion
we can all share.
1304
00:52:57,707 --> 00:53:00,753
That's where we connect with the
audience, in Hope or wherever.
1305
00:53:00,778 --> 00:53:05,816
We have to believe that you
have suffered such a loss.
1306
00:53:05,841 --> 00:53:07,874
Oh, god! I'm sorry, Nina.
1307
00:53:08,340 --> 00:53:10,655
No, you're perfectly right, Joe.
We must imagine the reality of it.
1308
00:53:10,680 --> 00:53:12,080
I'm fine.
1309
00:53:14,281 --> 00:53:17,154
All right. Let's go again
from that point.
1310
00:53:22,533 --> 00:53:31,070
And will he not come again.
1311
00:53:33,217 --> 00:53:42,705
And will he not come again.
1312
00:53:43,654 --> 00:53:48,642
No, no, he is dead.
1313
00:53:49,591 --> 00:53:56,319
Go to thy deathbed.
1314
00:53:56,914 --> 00:54:06,054
He never... will come... again.
1315
00:54:06,865 --> 00:54:08,111
I'm sorry.
1316
00:54:11,073 --> 00:54:13,040
Do you see this?
1317
00:54:14,189 --> 00:54:15,696
Oh god.
1318
00:54:19,224 --> 00:54:21,665
(Margaretta): Darling, if I start
now, it'll just be an open drain.
1319
00:54:21,690 --> 00:54:23,949
You made ridiculously
optimistic calculations
1320
00:54:23,968 --> 00:54:26,111
based on an income that
simply doesn't exist.
1321
00:54:26,298 --> 00:54:27,531
It will.
1322
00:54:27,712 --> 00:54:29,922
Well, when it does, then
I'll forward you some cash.
1323
00:54:29,947 --> 00:54:32,541
Have you anything
exciting to tell me?
1324
00:54:32,566 --> 00:54:35,043
Well, it looks like
Dylan's blown it, darling.
1325
00:54:35,068 --> 00:54:36,596
They start shooting
in L.A. on Boxing Day,
1326
00:54:36,621 --> 00:54:38,908
and she hasn't even had
a costume fitting yet.
1327
00:54:38,933 --> 00:54:41,779
The producer, Nancy Crawford
herself, no less,
1328
00:54:41,804 --> 00:54:45,161
is in town reccing foreign locations.
She is going mad.
1329
00:54:45,258 --> 00:54:47,063
Couldn't you just get me
a week of those expenses?
1330
00:54:47,088 --> 00:54:49,054
Darling, you're
under too much pressure.
1331
00:54:49,079 --> 00:54:51,035
Why don't you take
Sunday off and relax?
1332
00:54:51,083 --> 00:54:54,592
Remember, it's Christmas.
You could write to Santa.
1333
00:55:14,936 --> 00:55:16,803
(Joe): Let's start again now.
1334
00:55:17,154 --> 00:55:21,171
Go, captain. From me
greet the Danish king.
1335
00:55:21,562 --> 00:55:24,701
Tell it... Sorry.
1336
00:55:27,889 --> 00:55:29,564
Got nervous, darling.
1337
00:55:30,811 --> 00:55:33,440
It's just not possible!
1338
00:55:33,907 --> 00:55:35,682
I'm playing 400 parts.
1339
00:55:35,707 --> 00:55:37,894
You won't allow me
to do a single accent.
1340
00:55:37,919 --> 00:55:40,452
And I've got a captain here who
can't walk in a straight line.
1341
00:55:40,477 --> 00:55:41,477
Now, steady on.
1342
00:55:41,502 --> 00:55:44,715
Now, if you could only do that,
love, we'd be fine!
1343
00:55:45,032 --> 00:55:51,647
Joe, I am committed to this
project 132%. You know that.
1344
00:55:52,806 --> 00:55:55,803
Everything that I am
as a human being is here.
1345
00:55:55,828 --> 00:55:57,772
I bring it in every morning.
It's yours.
1346
00:55:57,797 --> 00:55:59,735
My energy is always positive energy,
1347
00:55:59,760 --> 00:56:02,556
physically, intellectually,
and... thing me.
1348
00:56:02,581 --> 00:56:04,557
But all I ever get back
from people is ridicule.
1349
00:56:04,582 --> 00:56:06,763
Let's all have a cheap joke
at Tom's expense.
1350
00:56:06,788 --> 00:56:08,700
Well, that's fine,
you know. That really is,
1351
00:56:08,725 --> 00:56:11,449
really perfectly all right,
because my shoulders are broad.
1352
00:56:11,627 --> 00:56:15,763
I, um, I-I-I've kept my own peace,
1353
00:56:15,859 --> 00:56:18,562
- and I haven't gone to my agent.
- He hasn't got an agent.
1354
00:56:18,587 --> 00:56:22,991
Yes, I have! Shut up!
Shut up, will you?
1355
00:56:23,786 --> 00:56:25,714
You see, it really isn't fair.
1356
00:56:26,833 --> 00:56:29,166
It's just...
it's just too much.
1357
00:56:29,664 --> 00:56:33,397
Ok. I'm sorry, Tom. Very sorry.
1358
00:56:40,503 --> 00:56:42,065
I'm sorry, too, Joe.
1359
00:56:44,873 --> 00:56:46,434
Sorry, everyone.
1360
00:56:46,636 --> 00:56:48,064
It's fine.
1361
00:56:50,989 --> 00:56:52,878
Vernon, please... I'm...
1362
00:56:53,903 --> 00:56:55,269
Start again.
1363
00:56:59,246 --> 00:57:01,640
You know, I love this man.
1364
00:57:10,396 --> 00:57:12,920
Go, captain. From me...
1365
00:57:13,464 --> 00:57:15,884
You see? It's hopeless!
1366
00:57:16,240 --> 00:57:18,837
Absolutely hopeless!
1367
00:57:19,184 --> 00:57:21,781
Everything we do
from wiping our ass
1368
00:57:21,806 --> 00:57:25,377
to fluffing our lines
has to be on camera!
1369
00:57:25,402 --> 00:57:27,544
Can't we work in private for once?
1370
00:57:27,569 --> 00:57:29,809
Why does everyone have to see
behind-the-scenes these days?
1371
00:57:29,834 --> 00:57:34,001
I mean, whatever happened
to all the bloody mystery?
1372
00:57:34,026 --> 00:57:35,795
I am recording our history, love.
1373
00:57:35,820 --> 00:57:37,319
It was discussed. Right, Joe?
1374
00:57:37,344 --> 00:57:39,063
And I think it's the least I deserve.
1375
00:57:39,088 --> 00:57:40,445
I am the only person
1376
00:57:40,470 --> 00:57:43,094
- who's gone off his ass to sell
this show. - Always vulgar.
1377
00:57:43,119 --> 00:57:46,530
Do you want anyone to see
this, or would you rather...
1378
00:57:46,555 --> 00:57:48,697
would you rather do your
bloody stupid accents
1379
00:57:48,722 --> 00:57:50,935
- in front of the mirror?
- All right! That's it!
1380
00:57:50,960 --> 00:57:55,340
That is it!
1381
00:58:01,886 --> 00:58:04,950
- What do you mean?
- I mean the play's over!
1382
00:58:05,267 --> 00:58:07,866
Finito! Walk away! End of story!
1383
00:58:07,891 --> 00:58:10,212
Kaput! Cheerio!
1384
00:58:12,911 --> 00:58:14,310
You don't really mean that.
1385
00:58:14,335 --> 00:58:18,308
Well, what's the point, you know?
What's the fucking point?
1386
00:58:20,689 --> 00:58:23,290
Look, you're a perfectly
decent bunch of people.
1387
00:58:23,315 --> 00:58:25,632
You know, you're a group of actors
1388
00:58:25,657 --> 00:58:27,307
with all the normal
insecurities and vanities,
1389
00:58:27,345 --> 00:58:29,646
but basically, you know,
I know you want to be here.
1390
00:58:29,671 --> 00:58:31,970
I know we all want to do
what's best for the play,
1391
00:58:31,995 --> 00:58:34,780
but look at us. I mean,
we argue, we're depressed.
1392
00:58:34,805 --> 00:58:37,669
I mean, we've set ourselves
too big a target.
1393
00:58:37,726 --> 00:58:40,044
You know, it's all
too personal for us all.
1394
00:58:40,069 --> 00:58:42,486
It's a big play, we keep
running up against it,
1395
00:58:42,511 --> 00:58:44,232
and we're hurting ourselves,
and I, for one,
1396
00:58:44,257 --> 00:58:46,033
no longer know what I'm
doing or why I'm doing it.
1397
00:58:46,058 --> 00:58:48,016
- I don't know this.
- That's not true.
1398
00:58:48,041 --> 00:58:50,436
The miserable facts are, we've run
out of time to rehearse this,
1399
00:58:50,461 --> 00:58:52,142
we have no audience,
we have no design.
1400
00:58:52,167 --> 00:58:54,360
I'm sorry, Fadge,
but, um, that's true.
1401
00:58:54,385 --> 00:58:58,051
And because I don't have
the money to pay for it,
1402
00:58:58,290 --> 00:59:02,141
we do not even have this venue
for the run of the show!
1403
00:59:04,531 --> 00:59:08,807
This whole idea, and,
oh god, I can see it now.
1404
00:59:08,832 --> 00:59:12,106
No offense, Molly,
but it's just pointless.
1405
00:59:12,882 --> 00:59:15,712
Churches close and
theaters close every week
1406
00:59:15,737 --> 00:59:19,371
because, finally,
people don't want them.
1407
00:59:21,773 --> 00:59:24,290
The Hope Hamlet is a loser!
1408
00:59:25,439 --> 00:59:28,057
Led by the chief loser, yours truly,
1409
00:59:28,082 --> 00:59:32,038
and, you know, circumstances
just force me to ask myself,
1410
00:59:32,063 --> 00:59:33,295
I mean, not only what is the point
1411
00:59:33,320 --> 00:59:35,527
in carrying on with
this meaningless shambles,
1412
00:59:35,552 --> 00:59:39,367
but as the yuletide season
takes us in its grip,
1413
00:59:39,392 --> 00:59:43,231
I ask myself, what is
the point in going on
1414
00:59:43,256 --> 00:59:48,024
with this miserable, tormented life?
1415
00:59:50,587 --> 00:59:54,150
I mean, can anyone tell me? Please.
1416
00:59:54,987 --> 00:59:59,022
What makes this fucking life
worth living?
1417
01:00:05,183 --> 01:00:07,849
I think you're just
projecting negativity.
1418
01:00:08,513 --> 01:00:11,248
And I think it's
really unfair on Fadge.
1419
01:00:11,305 --> 01:00:12,758
It's all right, Tom.
1420
01:00:20,462 --> 01:00:22,845
- Rachmaninoff.
- What?
1421
01:00:23,795 --> 01:00:25,787
A bit in Brief Encounter.
1422
01:00:26,897 --> 01:00:29,064
And Brief Encounter, actually.
1423
01:00:29,612 --> 01:00:31,946
That makes life worth living.
1424
01:00:32,026 --> 01:00:34,652
I'll buy you the video for Christmas.
1425
01:00:36,499 --> 01:00:38,828
Thinking of Tim being happy.
1426
01:00:39,163 --> 01:00:40,574
Who's Tim?
1427
01:00:40,709 --> 01:00:41,773
My son.
1428
01:00:41,844 --> 01:00:44,685
Oh, shit, do we all have to do one?
1429
01:00:44,710 --> 01:00:47,439
- Oh, shut up, Carnforth.
- (Carnforth): Sorry.
1430
01:00:51,995 --> 01:00:53,781
Look, Joe.
1431
01:00:54,543 --> 01:00:57,262
I might be speaking out of turn,
but I feel...
1432
01:00:58,159 --> 01:01:00,076
I think we all feel that,
1433
01:01:00,577 --> 01:01:03,222
well, some of what you say is true.
1434
01:01:03,788 --> 01:01:05,980
But we've come such a long way.
1435
01:01:06,164 --> 01:01:09,132
It's certainly worth one more go.
1436
01:01:09,736 --> 01:01:14,025
Why don't we call it a night and have
one run of the play tomorrow morning.
1437
01:01:14,347 --> 01:01:17,078
- Hear, hear.
- At least do that, eh?
1438
01:01:18,881 --> 01:01:22,528
Just for us... Hey?... Boss?
1439
01:01:28,037 --> 01:01:29,803
What is it, Molly?
1440
01:01:30,692 --> 01:01:31,922
You.
1441
01:01:33,752 --> 01:01:35,529
You're my brother.
1442
01:01:37,123 --> 01:01:39,071
You make life worth living.
1443
01:01:40,771 --> 01:01:42,952
You make my life worth living.
1444
01:01:44,306 --> 01:01:46,139
So, that says enough.
1445
01:01:53,067 --> 01:01:56,192
Why must the show go on?
1446
01:01:56,217 --> 01:01:59,646
Now, why not announce
the closing night of it?
1447
01:02:00,428 --> 01:02:01,793
The public seem
1448
01:02:01,818 --> 01:02:04,023
to hate the sight
of the dear and so.
1449
01:02:04,310 --> 01:02:06,326
Why you should undergo
1450
01:02:06,351 --> 01:02:07,858
such a terrible strain,
we'll never know.
1451
01:02:07,883 --> 01:02:09,151
We know that you're sad,
1452
01:02:09,176 --> 01:02:11,780
we know that you've had
a lot of storm and strife.
1453
01:02:11,805 --> 01:02:13,781
But is it quite fair
to ask us to share
1454
01:02:13,806 --> 01:02:15,606
your dreary private life?
1455
01:02:15,663 --> 01:02:19,131
We know you're trapped
in a gilded cage,
1456
01:02:19,700 --> 01:02:23,271
but for heaven's sake,
relax and be your age.
1457
01:02:23,821 --> 01:02:27,917
Stop being gallant
and don't be such a bore.
1458
01:02:28,160 --> 01:02:29,558
Pack up your talent
1459
01:02:29,654 --> 01:02:30,787
there's always plenty more.
1460
01:02:30,812 --> 01:02:32,411
And if you lose hope
1461
01:02:32,635 --> 01:02:35,214
take dope and lock
yourself in the John,
1462
01:02:35,527 --> 01:02:37,661
why must the show go on?
1463
01:02:37,686 --> 01:02:39,371
I'm merely asking,
1464
01:02:39,524 --> 01:02:41,440
why must the show...
1465
01:02:41,465 --> 01:02:45,162
Go. Let the soldiers shoot.
1466
01:02:45,187 --> 01:02:46,586
Go on?
1467
01:02:51,161 --> 01:02:52,344
That was terrific!
1468
01:02:52,369 --> 01:02:55,215
- Molly, it's really starting to come out.
- Wasn't it amazing?
1469
01:02:55,240 --> 01:02:57,986
It was so exciting. I'm so proud of you!
1470
01:02:58,011 --> 01:02:59,510
I'm nearly there, Joe. I haven't
1471
01:02:59,535 --> 01:03:00,994
quite hit on the right era yet,
1472
01:03:01,019 --> 01:03:03,335
but we'll hack it out during the
tech, I can feel it in my nips.
1473
01:03:03,360 --> 01:03:06,591
- Joe, do you realize how bloody
good you are? - Brilliant!
1474
01:03:06,616 --> 01:03:09,253
- You are so bloody good.
- You were fantastic.
1475
01:03:09,278 --> 01:03:11,944
Enough about me, darling. What
did you think of my performance?
1476
01:03:11,969 --> 01:03:13,590
- No empathy!
- Ha!
1477
01:03:13,615 --> 01:03:14,947
Here. Come here.
1478
01:03:14,972 --> 01:03:17,287
It was just like everything
I had hoped would start up.
1479
01:03:17,312 --> 01:03:20,533
- Oh, Joe!
- Well done! I just wish that you...
1480
01:03:20,558 --> 01:03:23,161
Joe. Before you say anything else,
1481
01:03:23,360 --> 01:03:26,534
we've talked to Molly
about the financial situation.
1482
01:03:26,559 --> 01:03:29,297
And we feel, the company feels that
1483
01:03:29,551 --> 01:03:32,486
we should help out, so, anyway,
we've had a whip-around,
1484
01:03:32,511 --> 01:03:35,109
and everyone's put in what they can,
1485
01:03:35,134 --> 01:03:38,036
which, I'm afraid,
isn't nearly enough, but, um...
1486
01:03:38,353 --> 01:03:41,127
- Fadge has sold her van.
- Never mind.
1487
01:03:41,152 --> 01:03:42,636
- What? You sold your van?
- Yes.
1488
01:03:42,661 --> 01:03:45,359
But you keep everything in it... your
lights and your costumes and props and...
1489
01:03:45,384 --> 01:03:47,089
They'll hold onto it till the New Year.
1490
01:03:47,114 --> 01:03:49,595
If the play succeeds, I'll buy it back.
1491
01:03:51,580 --> 01:03:54,112
Oh, folks, thank you.
1492
01:03:54,881 --> 01:03:58,286
- Do you mean this is...
- We paid it in this morning, Joe.
1493
01:03:58,311 --> 01:04:01,501
- The show can go on.
- Hooray! - Ha!
1494
01:04:02,222 --> 01:04:05,642
I just...I don't know
what to say, you know?
1495
01:04:05,676 --> 01:04:08,668
- I just...I'm...I'm...
- A talentless git?
1496
01:04:08,693 --> 01:04:10,801
Oh, yes. Certainly. Thank you.
1497
01:04:13,956 --> 01:04:16,776
Thank you. Thank you very much.
1498
01:04:17,401 --> 01:04:19,942
Oh, god, I'm laughing,
and I think I'm gonna cry.
1499
01:04:19,967 --> 01:04:22,449
Don't do that.
We all have jobs to do.
1500
01:04:22,474 --> 01:04:24,855
The technical rehearsal
is first thing tomorrow morning.
1501
01:04:24,880 --> 01:04:26,718
Now, Fadge has got half of us
on lights and sound
1502
01:04:26,743 --> 01:04:28,750
and blacking out the windows,
and the rest of us
1503
01:04:28,775 --> 01:04:31,443
are going into Hope this
afternoon to find our audience.
1504
01:04:31,468 --> 01:04:34,192
- That's fantastic.
- But first, a drink?
1505
01:04:34,217 --> 01:04:38,102
- Oh, yes!
- And some music. - Yay!
1506
01:04:38,324 --> 01:04:40,855
ACT III
- Another opening, another show! -
1507
01:04:43,091 --> 01:04:44,988
(Carnforth): Who's there?
1508
01:04:45,258 --> 01:04:48,227
No, Carnforth. Remember,
as we discovered in rehearsals.
1509
01:04:48,276 --> 01:04:51,910
(Carnforth): No. I mean, who's there?
I can't see a thing.
1510
01:04:52,085 --> 01:04:54,286
Oh. Sorry, Carnforth.
Hey, well done, though.
1511
01:04:54,311 --> 01:04:56,263
I really believed you
the second time there.
1512
01:04:56,288 --> 01:04:58,134
- Vernon.
- Yes, love?
1513
01:04:58,159 --> 01:05:01,006
Yeah. Hey, a little more
definite with the gong.
1514
01:05:01,031 --> 01:05:02,503
It really sets up
the tone of the play.
1515
01:05:02,528 --> 01:05:04,987
(Vernon): Well, it would help if there
wasn't quite so much smoke back here.
1516
01:05:05,012 --> 01:05:06,924
I keep worrying I'm gonna
bump into Jack the Ripper.
1517
01:05:06,949 --> 01:05:08,798
He's gonna think I'm the man
from the Rank Logo.
1518
01:05:08,823 --> 01:05:09,962
Well, can't someone else do the gong?
1519
01:05:09,987 --> 01:05:11,576
Well, Nina's blind enough as it is
1520
01:05:11,601 --> 01:05:12,904
without having to bang
a gong in the mist.
1521
01:05:12,929 --> 01:05:14,595
Carnforth's on,
Tom's on in a second,
1522
01:05:14,620 --> 01:05:17,656
- and you're out there.
- What about Henry or Terry?
1523
01:05:19,806 --> 01:05:21,225
You look wonderful.
1524
01:05:21,297 --> 01:05:22,827
You look gorgeous.
1525
01:05:26,462 --> 01:05:27,867
Um, Fadge.
1526
01:05:28,976 --> 01:05:31,332
Teething problems, darling.
That's why we rehearse.
1527
01:05:31,478 --> 01:05:32,875
(Joe): Yeah, sure.
No problem with that.
1528
01:05:32,900 --> 01:05:34,543
It's just that we've spent
all morning on this,
1529
01:05:34,568 --> 01:05:36,105
and we haven't got beyond
the "who's there?"
1530
01:05:36,130 --> 01:05:38,146
And that's a question I fear many
of the audience will be asking
1531
01:05:38,171 --> 01:05:40,694
- if the smoke's this thick.
- Opening image, darling.
1532
01:05:40,719 --> 01:05:42,961
- Turn this off.
- Understood.
1533
01:05:43,306 --> 01:05:46,873
Any final decisions
about props or costumes?
1534
01:05:46,898 --> 01:05:48,231
I've got till the end
of the tech, haven't I?
1535
01:05:48,256 --> 01:05:50,193
- (Joe): Yes.
- Let's remain open.
1536
01:05:50,218 --> 01:05:52,256
All right, then. Let's go from the
last line of the previous scene.
1537
01:05:52,281 --> 01:05:53,446
Ready to bring on the throne.
1538
01:05:53,471 --> 01:05:54,904
Tom, give us your last line.
1539
01:05:54,929 --> 01:05:56,575
You can say it from offstage for now.
1540
01:05:56,600 --> 01:05:58,696
Stand by, elec. Stand by, sound...
1541
01:05:58,721 --> 01:06:00,641
And cue Tom.
1542
01:06:01,066 --> 01:06:03,603
(Tom): Let's do it, I pray,
and I this morning know
1543
01:06:03,628 --> 01:06:06,098
where we shall find him
most convenient.
1544
01:06:06,123 --> 01:06:08,156
Go, elecs. Go, music.
1545
01:06:08,525 --> 01:06:10,557
That's good. Vernon on first.
1546
01:06:10,582 --> 01:06:11,515
Check out the audience
1547
01:06:11,517 --> 01:06:13,417
as if it's the imaginary cord.
1548
01:06:13,419 --> 01:06:14,865
Excellent. Get!
1549
01:06:14,890 --> 01:06:15,968
Very good to hold her hand.
1550
01:06:15,993 --> 01:06:19,250
Keep her out of trouble.
That's good, and...
1551
01:06:19,616 --> 01:06:20,982
Now the king of...
1552
01:06:26,656 --> 01:06:29,240
- What do you think, darling?
- Not bad, eh?
1553
01:06:29,752 --> 01:06:32,515
Ok. Just, uh,
let's just hold it there.
1554
01:06:32,831 --> 01:06:35,309
Um, do you know,
I think this is not a bad time
1555
01:06:35,334 --> 01:06:38,324
to have an informal chat
about costume and makeup.
1556
01:06:38,381 --> 01:06:41,306
Uh, let's break for tea there.
Back in an hour.
1557
01:06:41,523 --> 01:06:45,799
Um, Henry and Terry,
a little word in your ear.
1558
01:06:46,974 --> 01:06:48,021
What's with him?
1559
01:06:48,046 --> 01:06:49,569
Don't know, love. It's
as good as a fucking guess.
1560
01:06:49,594 --> 01:06:50,902
I doubt likely it's about anything.
1561
01:06:50,927 --> 01:06:52,259
Fuck all, darling.
1562
01:06:53,411 --> 01:06:55,689
(Fadge): It wasn't me!
1563
01:06:56,171 --> 01:06:58,823
Joe. Could you call your agent?
1564
01:06:58,856 --> 01:07:00,215
I'll be right with you.
1565
01:07:00,240 --> 01:07:02,032
I just popped down to the post office,
1566
01:07:02,057 --> 01:07:04,302
and the landlord said there was a
message for you to call your agent.
1567
01:07:04,327 --> 01:07:05,881
The landlord at the post office?
1568
01:07:05,906 --> 01:07:07,814
Uh, yes, it's a technical term.
1569
01:07:07,839 --> 01:07:09,247
I believe it came in
with privatization.
1570
01:07:09,272 --> 01:07:11,223
- Anyway, urgent.
- All right. Wait a minute.
1571
01:07:11,248 --> 01:07:13,652
It's the day before Christmas eve.
There are no agents working.
1572
01:07:13,677 --> 01:07:16,280
Oh, yes. That's it.
Can you call her at home?
1573
01:07:16,305 --> 01:07:17,956
Is there a message?
Because I could always...
1574
01:07:17,981 --> 01:07:20,401
I think you should work on your
rotational movement exercises.
1575
01:07:20,426 --> 01:07:22,052
- Ok.
- Carnforth.
1576
01:07:23,430 --> 01:07:24,899
Don't drink.
1577
01:07:25,828 --> 01:07:27,131
You don't need to.
1578
01:07:30,959 --> 01:07:32,190
And 1, 2, 3.
1579
01:07:32,215 --> 01:07:34,139
And Guildenstern.
My honored Lord
1580
01:07:34,164 --> 01:07:35,567
So, how many does that make?
1581
01:07:35,592 --> 01:07:39,004
Well, I've got a party of 10 kids from
the school coming down, £3 a head.
1582
01:07:39,029 --> 01:07:41,302
Most of them have a bloody
miserable Christmas anyway.
1583
01:07:41,327 --> 01:07:43,263
- What, so even this old pilot sauce
is better than nothing?
1584
01:07:43,288 --> 01:07:44,679
- No!
- Only teasing.
1585
01:07:45,518 --> 01:07:46,835
I won't know till tomorrow night
1586
01:07:46,860 --> 01:07:49,365
about the crowd from Chelford Castle.
1587
01:07:49,390 --> 01:07:51,184
- They're a bit overexcited.
- Why?
1588
01:07:51,209 --> 01:07:53,649
They got this film company coming
to do a location reccy there
1589
01:07:53,662 --> 01:07:55,381
tomorrow morning, very last minute.
1590
01:07:55,406 --> 01:07:56,587
But if they use the castle,
1591
01:07:56,612 --> 01:07:58,538
the hotel's the best place
to book the crew in.
1592
01:07:58,563 --> 01:08:01,316
- Quids-in for the landlord.
- At last. Exactly.
1593
01:08:01,341 --> 01:08:03,104
So you can imagine that
coming to see Hamlet
1594
01:08:03,129 --> 01:08:05,523
is a lot lower
on his list of priorities.
1595
01:08:06,121 --> 01:08:08,463
We could do with his crowd
tomorrow night, mind you.
1596
01:08:08,488 --> 01:08:11,567
It'd swell the coffers. Anyway,
I'm still working him over.
1597
01:08:11,592 --> 01:08:14,515
- How? - Well, this film's
futuristic, apparently.
1598
01:08:14,540 --> 01:08:16,070
They're doing the
interiors in America
1599
01:08:16,095 --> 01:08:18,277
and cheap locations in Europe.
1600
01:08:18,542 --> 01:08:21,436
They want the castle to be
the ruins of an ancient city
1601
01:08:21,461 --> 01:08:23,836
- on the planet Zarboc.
- Mmm. Sounds lovely.
1602
01:08:23,964 --> 01:08:26,136
So I told him to greet the producer
1603
01:08:26,161 --> 01:08:28,977
in an R2-D2 party hat and a
homemade Star Trek uniform.
1604
01:08:29,002 --> 01:08:31,294
- He loves crimpling.
- Exactly.
1605
01:08:32,207 --> 01:08:34,666
- Oh, flippin' heck.
- Come on.
1606
01:08:35,205 --> 01:08:39,723
Oh, thanks for doing all this,
Vernon. You've been a rock.
1607
01:08:40,042 --> 01:08:41,580
This has been the weirdest
Christmas holiday
1608
01:08:41,605 --> 01:08:43,452
from school I've ever spent.
1609
01:08:43,642 --> 01:08:45,088
And every time I think
I'm going slightly potty,
1610
01:08:45,113 --> 01:08:46,731
I just look at you.
1611
01:08:48,222 --> 01:08:52,166
I...I mean, I mean,
nothing seems to phase you.
1612
01:08:53,240 --> 01:08:56,745
Well, it doesn't if you're needed.
I like being needed.
1613
01:08:57,199 --> 01:08:59,085
A new experience for me.
1614
01:08:59,606 --> 01:09:01,575
I should make a film about it.
1615
01:09:01,600 --> 01:09:03,099
Being needed.
1616
01:09:03,368 --> 01:09:04,480
Can I be in it?
1617
01:09:06,245 --> 01:09:07,971
(Margaretta): It is
astonishing, darling!
1618
01:09:07,996 --> 01:09:10,304
Only Nancy Crawford
could afford to do it.
1619
01:09:10,329 --> 01:09:12,636
Of course it makes sense in
the long run, but it's true.
1620
01:09:12,661 --> 01:09:16,840
They want you for the 3 pictures,
guaranteed. Guaranteed, Joe.
1621
01:09:16,865 --> 01:09:19,802
- But what if...
- They have to pay you, darling,
1622
01:09:19,827 --> 01:09:21,779
even if they don't
make the second two.
1623
01:09:21,804 --> 01:09:24,333
Now, you'll get more up front, but
no back end, and I'm gonna fight
1624
01:09:24,358 --> 01:09:26,000
for a cut of the merchandising.
1625
01:09:26,025 --> 01:09:27,712
Of course, we can't
hold them to ransom
1626
01:09:27,737 --> 01:09:29,196
if the first picture's
a monster hit,
1627
01:09:29,221 --> 01:09:31,114
but we do get 3 years' money
1628
01:09:31,139 --> 01:09:34,041
and 6 months a year
employment guaranteed.
1629
01:09:34,066 --> 01:09:36,492
And a concept that could be
Star Wars all over again!
1630
01:09:36,517 --> 01:09:38,410
And you're certain Dylan
Judd is out of the picture?
1631
01:09:38,435 --> 01:09:41,160
Darling, she has shot
herself in the foot,
1632
01:09:41,333 --> 01:09:43,907
bottom, and, most
crucially, the brain.
1633
01:09:43,932 --> 01:09:45,225
So greedy.
1634
01:09:45,361 --> 01:09:47,566
And remember,
they still have that videotape
1635
01:09:47,591 --> 01:09:49,578
of your audition
from all those months ago.
1636
01:09:49,603 --> 01:09:52,014
They need character
for these sidekick roles.
1637
01:09:52,039 --> 01:09:54,650
Particularly, if you're in a suit
of latex for all those hours.
1638
01:09:54,675 --> 01:09:59,354
Oh! I'm...I'm speechless!
1639
01:09:59,801 --> 01:10:01,457
Oh, Christ, look, Mags,
I'm gonna have to run.
1640
01:10:01,482 --> 01:10:02,930
Can we talk about it
when you come down?
1641
01:10:02,955 --> 01:10:05,098
I'll see you for the show.
Thanks, Mags!
1642
01:10:05,123 --> 01:10:06,423
But, Joe!
1643
01:10:07,035 --> 01:10:09,137
Joe, we have to talk.
Joe, we have to talk!
1644
01:10:09,162 --> 01:10:10,691
We have to talk about start dates!
1645
01:10:10,716 --> 01:10:13,271
Shit! Start dates
and travel arrangements!
1646
01:10:13,296 --> 01:10:14,296
Joe, Joe!
1647
01:10:16,295 --> 01:10:17,537
Peace offering.
1648
01:10:20,681 --> 01:10:22,367
I think you're both fantastic.
1649
01:10:22,416 --> 01:10:24,188
- Naughty girl.
- Bad person.
1650
01:10:24,213 --> 01:10:27,331
Now, you trust me on this
makeup issue. You look great.
1651
01:10:32,392 --> 01:10:33,907
He's right, of course.
1652
01:10:34,042 --> 01:10:36,472
We did look like 2 silly old tarts.
1653
01:10:36,677 --> 01:10:38,783
You can't make time
stand still, Henry.
1654
01:10:38,808 --> 01:10:39,989
Those days have gone forever.
1655
01:10:40,014 --> 01:10:41,728
I suppose so.
Fun though, wasn't it?
1656
01:10:41,753 --> 01:10:42,918
Oh, yes, it was fun.
1657
01:10:43,143 --> 01:10:45,519
- (Carnforth): What's all this, then?
- A bribe from the boss.
1658
01:10:45,544 --> 01:10:47,962
Oh, that's very sporting of him.
1659
01:10:48,200 --> 01:10:49,610
Yeah. Do you think
it's the equivalent
1660
01:10:49,635 --> 01:10:51,485
of Nero fiddling while Rome burned?
1661
01:10:51,510 --> 01:10:52,976
Oh, hardly.
1662
01:10:53,266 --> 01:10:55,873
Only joking, Carnforth. Lighten up.
1663
01:10:55,898 --> 01:10:56,931
Well...
1664
01:10:57,660 --> 01:11:01,288
I suppose I would, love, if I didn't
feel such an 8 billion% twit.
1665
01:11:01,313 --> 01:11:03,621
Oh, still having a problem
remembering the lines, are we?
1666
01:11:03,646 --> 01:11:06,800
The lines, the movement,
the costume changes...
1667
01:11:06,825 --> 01:11:08,858
My bloody awful acting.
1668
01:11:09,611 --> 01:11:10,611
Betty bottle.
1669
01:11:10,634 --> 01:11:13,840
- What are you doing?
- I'm making an audience.
1670
01:11:13,951 --> 01:11:16,727
- I beg your pardon? - Well, I've
been completely pathetic up till now,
1671
01:11:16,752 --> 01:11:18,720
but I think I'm on
to something at last.
1672
01:11:18,745 --> 01:11:20,389
If we don't get
an actual audience,
1673
01:11:20,414 --> 01:11:22,341
I want to create a world for you.
1674
01:11:22,366 --> 01:11:24,126
You should at least
have people watching you,
1675
01:11:24,151 --> 01:11:26,524
- even if they are cardboard.
- That'd be brilliant.
1676
01:11:26,549 --> 01:11:28,184
They won't cough. I hate that.
1677
01:11:28,746 --> 01:11:30,856
That champagne has gone
right to my head.
1678
01:11:30,881 --> 01:11:32,697
Is this wise before our first night?
1679
01:11:32,722 --> 01:11:34,168
These are unusual circumstances.
1680
01:11:34,193 --> 01:11:36,093
Yes, is your bank
manager drunk, too?
1681
01:11:36,365 --> 01:11:37,980
I think he was encouraged
by some Christmas good news
1682
01:11:38,005 --> 01:11:39,022
to review my overdraft.
1683
01:11:39,047 --> 01:11:40,228
Oh, you mean someone's
bought a ticket
1684
01:11:40,253 --> 01:11:42,132
that we don't know, or
he is actually drunk?
1685
01:11:42,157 --> 01:11:44,085
All in good time. Let's
get the show on first
1686
01:11:44,110 --> 01:11:45,508
before we share the glad tidings.
1687
01:11:45,533 --> 01:11:48,303
- It's good to have a laugh, isn't it?
- Oh, yes.
1688
01:11:48,328 --> 01:11:49,993
On the whole, we've
got serious disease.
1689
01:11:50,018 --> 01:11:52,557
I know, but we
are being treated for it.
1690
01:11:52,582 --> 01:11:54,074
We did take this job.
1691
01:11:55,754 --> 01:11:57,053
- Fadge.
- Hmm?
1692
01:11:57,637 --> 01:12:01,196
I think...
I could be funny with you.
1693
01:12:02,895 --> 01:12:04,862
You are funny with me.
1694
01:12:06,420 --> 01:12:09,317
In fact, I think we're
funny with each other.
1695
01:12:10,897 --> 01:12:13,663
Come on. Let's get back to
being humorless and intense.
1696
01:12:13,759 --> 01:12:16,822
We've got an audience to write.
And reviews to make.
1697
01:12:16,893 --> 01:12:19,075
The thought of you, it's so easy.
1698
01:12:19,459 --> 01:12:20,699
Drives me mad.
1699
01:12:20,724 --> 01:12:23,225
Easy? What do you mean, easy?
1700
01:12:23,843 --> 01:12:25,915
- I love you.
- What?
1701
01:12:26,741 --> 01:12:28,042
I love you.
1702
01:12:28,733 --> 01:12:30,980
Now, Vernon, don't think
I'm not flattered, it's...
1703
01:12:31,005 --> 01:12:33,940
No. As an audience
member I love you.
1704
01:12:34,343 --> 01:12:36,877
As a company member, I love you.
1705
01:12:37,040 --> 01:12:39,429
As a human being, I love you.
1706
01:12:40,682 --> 01:12:44,420
I can't help it. You've got
charm, warmth, you're endearing.
1707
01:12:44,804 --> 01:12:46,204
You're honest about yourself,
1708
01:12:46,326 --> 01:12:48,926
about your faults, your insecurities.
1709
01:12:48,928 --> 01:12:51,776
I can't do anything about it.
I love you.
1710
01:12:52,293 --> 01:12:54,785
I've loved you ever since
the first time I saw you.
1711
01:12:54,904 --> 01:12:56,849
The audience can't help
themselves, either.
1712
01:12:56,874 --> 01:12:58,945
You walk on, they love you.
1713
01:12:59,881 --> 01:13:01,580
Because you're yourself.
1714
01:13:02,056 --> 01:13:04,561
You're kind and vulnerable and...
1715
01:13:05,450 --> 01:13:07,539
well... nice.
1716
01:13:07,966 --> 01:13:10,319
- Do you really think so?
- I do.
1717
01:13:11,245 --> 01:13:12,898
But you're so wracked with guilt
1718
01:13:12,923 --> 01:13:15,706
about your old ma's sacrifices
that you can't even notice
1719
01:13:15,731 --> 01:13:17,980
that the audience rather likes you.
1720
01:13:18,556 --> 01:13:20,869
Or that you're a very good actor.
1721
01:13:21,102 --> 01:13:24,276
Well, I... I suppose not, no.
1722
01:13:24,414 --> 01:13:28,419
So I wouldn't worry too much
about tomorrow, Carnforth.
1723
01:13:28,906 --> 01:13:32,131
Well, I must now
be off to Bedfordshire.
1724
01:13:32,825 --> 01:13:34,873
Oops... Oh, wait.
1725
01:13:39,280 --> 01:13:41,282
- Good night.
- Good night.
1726
01:13:43,157 --> 01:13:45,624
I think you should
take her with you.
1727
01:13:45,696 --> 01:13:47,036
Where?
1728
01:13:47,164 --> 01:13:48,862
Wherever you go.
1729
01:13:49,434 --> 01:13:50,711
Wherever.
1730
01:13:50,964 --> 01:13:52,614
This is it. Yes.
1731
01:13:53,045 --> 01:13:54,560
Yes, I've got it now.
1732
01:13:54,585 --> 01:13:57,071
This is right, absolutely.
1733
01:13:57,366 --> 01:13:59,233
I've got it. I can make a decision.
1734
01:13:59,258 --> 01:14:01,587
Of course I can.
1735
01:14:01,612 --> 01:14:04,349
Make a decision.
That's it. I've got it.
1736
01:14:04,397 --> 01:14:05,791
Yes, lord.
1737
01:14:06,522 --> 01:14:09,256
Go for it!
1738
01:14:11,298 --> 01:14:15,448
Darling, it is a nightmare!
1739
01:14:15,791 --> 01:14:19,696
(Joe): We're fine! It's a technical.
They're always like this.
1740
01:14:19,721 --> 01:14:22,117
Don't worry. We'll go
again from the entrance,
1741
01:14:22,142 --> 01:14:24,337
we'll lighten up on the smoke.
It'll be all right.
1742
01:14:24,426 --> 01:14:27,932
Oh, Martha Moneyguts has changed her
tune since yesterday, hasn't she?
1743
01:14:27,957 --> 01:14:31,121
She's happy now.
We all look like TV weathermen.
1744
01:14:31,380 --> 01:14:33,471
All right, not bad at all.
Not bad at all.
1745
01:14:33,496 --> 01:14:35,174
Listen, we were nice and relaxed.
1746
01:14:35,221 --> 01:14:37,197
Technically, we were
remarkably smooth.
1747
01:14:37,222 --> 01:14:38,990
Fantastic, well done, Molly and Nina,
1748
01:14:39,015 --> 01:14:42,473
and everyone who's helped me out
with special effects, that's great...
1749
01:14:42,498 --> 01:14:44,458
- (Margaretta): Joe! - Hello, Mags.
- Thank god I found you!
1750
01:14:44,505 --> 01:14:46,509
You're early. We don't
go up till 7:30 pm.
1751
01:14:46,534 --> 01:14:48,311
Look, everyone, this
is Margaretta D'Arcy.
1752
01:14:48,336 --> 01:14:50,804
This is my friend, agent, and
personal investor in the show.
1753
01:14:50,829 --> 01:14:53,234
- Darling, I must talk to you.
- What?
1754
01:14:53,259 --> 01:14:55,423
- I've got to talk to you.
- Yeah. Ok, yeah, sure.
1755
01:14:55,448 --> 01:14:59,519
I'll do the technical notes with you.
Be with you in 2 minutes, 2 minutes.
1756
01:15:08,179 --> 01:15:09,749
(Molly): So, Vernon,
you take the throne off
1757
01:15:09,774 --> 01:15:10,960
before the fight starts, ok?
1758
01:15:10,985 --> 01:15:14,347
- (Vernon): Ok, fine, no problem.
- (Molly): Fantastic.
1759
01:15:19,786 --> 01:15:22,605
(Joe): I've an important
announcement to make.
1760
01:15:22,630 --> 01:15:26,273
After over a year of
spectacular unemployment,
1761
01:15:26,796 --> 01:15:29,107
ehm, during which as I'm sure
you've all gathered
1762
01:15:29,132 --> 01:15:30,761
I've been pretty desperate,
1763
01:15:30,786 --> 01:15:34,655
uh, I...I not only have a job,
1764
01:15:35,615 --> 01:15:37,794
but, really, the job.
1765
01:15:38,448 --> 01:15:41,901
Yeah, a guaranteed 3-picture deal
1766
01:15:41,926 --> 01:15:44,460
in a new science fiction
movie trilogy.
1767
01:15:46,899 --> 01:15:48,799
Th-the bad news...
1768
01:15:53,414 --> 01:15:55,403
I'm sorry, darling, but I'm going
1769
01:15:55,428 --> 01:15:56,984
to have to be the heavy here.
1770
01:15:57,144 --> 01:16:00,242
The bad news is that Joe has
to leave tonight.
1771
01:16:08,480 --> 01:16:10,365
- Tonight?
- Yes.
1772
01:16:10,880 --> 01:16:13,389
The producer, Nancy Crawford,
is in the country
1773
01:16:13,414 --> 01:16:15,817
reccing foreign locations.
She has a private jet
1774
01:16:15,842 --> 01:16:18,243
leaving Chelford airdrome at 8:00 pm.
1775
01:16:18,476 --> 01:16:21,449
They start shooting interiors
in Los Angeles on Boxing Day.
1776
01:16:21,474 --> 01:16:24,879
Couldn't be more last-minute, but
it's a wonderful opportunity for Joe.
1777
01:16:24,904 --> 01:16:26,496
And there really is no choice.
1778
01:16:26,658 --> 01:16:30,681
So I'm sure you'll all understand
that there really is no choice.
1779
01:16:45,087 --> 01:16:46,206
Well...
1780
01:16:48,323 --> 01:16:50,671
She's right, Joe. There is no choice.
1781
01:16:50,751 --> 01:16:52,158
You've gotta go.
1782
01:16:54,537 --> 01:16:56,431
Congratulations, boss.
1783
01:16:58,152 --> 01:17:01,334
You saved the world from
my nose just in time.
1784
01:17:01,493 --> 01:17:03,092
I'm sorry, Vernon.
1785
01:17:04,679 --> 01:17:08,013
There is no justice,
and I hate you passionately.
1786
01:17:09,103 --> 01:17:10,763
Go for it, you swine.
1787
01:17:15,309 --> 01:17:18,504
I'm sure you'll get the chance
to do it again, Joe, but
1788
01:17:18,699 --> 01:17:20,219
just in case,
1789
01:17:21,112 --> 01:17:24,344
I wanted to let you know
that I had finally cracked it.
1790
01:17:35,201 --> 01:17:36,372
Don't go.
1791
01:17:36,904 --> 01:17:39,020
- Please don't go.
- Come on, Nina.
1792
01:17:39,231 --> 01:17:40,652
But he can't. He mustn't.
1793
01:17:40,677 --> 01:17:42,160
Not just for us, but for him.
1794
01:17:42,185 --> 01:17:43,872
Darling, there is no comparison...
1795
01:17:43,897 --> 01:17:46,964
Yes, there is!
2 weeks ago we all met up
1796
01:17:46,989 --> 01:17:48,582
to start this adventure.
1797
01:17:48,607 --> 01:17:50,298
And much that we didn't
care to admit it,
1798
01:17:50,323 --> 01:17:52,396
we're all in our
various ways depressed.
1799
01:17:52,421 --> 01:17:54,177
Especially you, Joe.
1800
01:17:54,202 --> 01:17:55,858
But we needed this job,
1801
01:17:55,937 --> 01:17:57,994
this play, this experience.
1802
01:17:58,381 --> 01:17:59,762
And all through our ups and downs
1803
01:17:59,787 --> 01:18:02,031
and disagreements, we've
continued to need it.
1804
01:18:02,143 --> 01:18:05,798
Yes, we do, Nina. Actors do, but...
The world doesn't.
1805
01:18:05,823 --> 01:18:07,528
Finally, it's Shakespeare,
and nobody's interested.
1806
01:18:07,553 --> 01:18:09,171
They're interested in Hope.
1807
01:18:09,196 --> 01:18:11,965
Look, this is all very good
and all very overdramatic,
1808
01:18:11,990 --> 01:18:13,346
but it just isn't fair.
1809
01:18:13,371 --> 01:18:15,499
You could do this bloody play
anytime, anywhere.
1810
01:18:15,524 --> 01:18:17,340
Look, Nina, Joe's only
doing what most of us
1811
01:18:17,365 --> 01:18:19,413
would give our right arms to do.
1812
01:18:19,438 --> 01:18:21,848
(Joe): It means I can pay
you all. It can be proper!
1813
01:18:21,873 --> 01:18:23,531
It doesn't have to be proper!
1814
01:18:23,556 --> 01:18:25,274
It's Christmas eve,
for Christ's sake!
1815
01:18:25,299 --> 01:18:27,300
You should all be with your families!
1816
01:18:27,325 --> 01:18:30,561
We're with our family!
That's what actors do!
1817
01:18:30,839 --> 01:18:33,409
That's what people do
with what's left of Hope.
1818
01:18:33,434 --> 01:18:35,822
They hang on! They stick it out!
1819
01:18:35,847 --> 01:18:38,897
Now, they're here tonight for us,
and we have to do this show for them,
1820
01:18:38,922 --> 01:18:41,484
and if you won't do it, well then...
1821
01:18:42,038 --> 01:18:44,662
Then I'll bloody well do it!
I'll play Hamlet!
1822
01:18:44,687 --> 01:18:47,401
I practically know it now.
It's better than canceling.
1823
01:18:47,925 --> 01:18:49,552
Everyone knows this is
a weird production.
1824
01:18:49,577 --> 01:18:51,533
One more weirdo won't
make any difference.
1825
01:18:51,558 --> 01:18:54,272
But this is our village!
It's our home!
1826
01:18:54,397 --> 01:18:55,705
We can't let them down.
1827
01:18:55,730 --> 01:18:58,293
Well, that's marvelous, then!
Isn't it?
1828
01:19:04,641 --> 01:19:07,338
We're all... tired and emotional.
1829
01:19:09,100 --> 01:19:11,471
You get off and catch that plane.
1830
01:19:11,496 --> 01:19:14,396
We'd all do the same,
whatever we say now.
1831
01:19:14,744 --> 01:19:16,863
We're actors. We're beggars.
1832
01:19:17,403 --> 01:19:19,061
That's the way it works.
1833
01:19:20,724 --> 01:19:23,482
We'll do the show tonight
with young mistress Molly,
1834
01:19:23,673 --> 01:19:26,664
and we'll drink to your health
over Christmas dinner tomorrow.
1835
01:19:42,795 --> 01:19:44,114
Get a suntan.
1836
01:19:52,131 --> 01:19:54,337
- I'm sorry, Joe.
- Yeah, sure.
1837
01:20:14,784 --> 01:20:18,213
- Nina. - You put your whole
life into this, Joe,
1838
01:20:18,238 --> 01:20:20,171
right from the start.
1839
01:20:20,428 --> 01:20:21,999
You needed this job.
1840
01:20:22,024 --> 01:20:24,730
You needed it then,
and you need it now.
1841
01:20:24,965 --> 01:20:27,343
I mean, it's not about fame or money
1842
01:20:27,368 --> 01:20:30,012
or so-called wealth and security.
1843
01:20:31,978 --> 01:20:34,437
It's about nourishing your soul,
1844
01:20:34,564 --> 01:20:36,783
nourishing your heart.
1845
01:20:37,058 --> 01:20:39,085
And that's what you deserve.
1846
01:20:40,490 --> 01:20:44,224
At the end of the day, however
hard you hug that paycheck,
1847
01:20:44,275 --> 01:20:46,041
it won't be a person.
1848
01:20:46,847 --> 01:20:48,657
It won't be us.
1849
01:20:50,007 --> 01:20:51,742
It won't be me.
1850
01:20:57,015 --> 01:20:59,308
Go easy on yourself, old chap.
1851
01:21:00,203 --> 01:21:04,361
I'm afraid we can't all afford the
luxury of nourishing our souls.
1852
01:21:04,611 --> 01:21:08,358
That's the prerogative of the
romantics among us, I fear.
1853
01:21:08,794 --> 01:21:10,773
These things happen.
1854
01:21:11,373 --> 01:21:13,063
What does he say?
1855
01:21:14,234 --> 01:21:17,177
"If it be now, 'tis not to come."
1856
01:21:18,263 --> 01:21:20,906
"If it be not to come, it will be now."
1857
01:21:22,302 --> 01:21:25,271
"If it be not now,yet it will come."
1858
01:21:26,565 --> 01:21:28,641
"The readiness is all."
1859
01:22:00,581 --> 01:22:03,743
(Henry): Nina, listen!
He's only human!
1860
01:22:04,080 --> 01:22:05,481
If that had been me
at his age, I wouldn't
1861
01:22:05,506 --> 01:22:07,657
even have stopped to tell the company.
I'd be on my way to the airport.
1862
01:22:07,682 --> 01:22:09,355
Yes, but he'd worked so hard!
1863
01:22:09,380 --> 01:22:11,927
And so have you!
Which is why you mustn't let
1864
01:22:11,952 --> 01:22:13,118
a beautiful performance like yours
1865
01:22:13,143 --> 01:22:14,838
be spoilt because you're
head over heels in love.
1866
01:22:14,863 --> 01:22:18,055
Who said I was in love?
I just want what's best for him.
1867
01:22:18,080 --> 01:22:19,586
What's best for the company.
1868
01:22:19,611 --> 01:22:21,713
What's best for the company is
for you to go out there and give
1869
01:22:21,738 --> 01:22:23,142
the best Ophelia the world's ever seen.
1870
01:22:23,167 --> 01:22:25,155
Yes, but he won't be there to see it!
1871
01:22:25,180 --> 01:22:27,811
- You think love's about being in the same
place at the same time? - It helps!
1872
01:22:27,836 --> 01:22:30,997
So is doing your best for your
loved one wherever they are.
1873
01:22:31,276 --> 01:22:33,997
It's much harder for him
than it is for you.
1874
01:22:35,283 --> 01:22:37,659
You should pardon my language.
1875
01:22:44,227 --> 01:22:47,288
- What did your dad say?
- Oh, he wasn't in.
1876
01:22:48,349 --> 01:22:51,053
Well, if I was your dad,
1877
01:22:51,908 --> 01:22:54,123
I'd say do this one for Joe.
1878
01:22:55,309 --> 01:22:58,467
Think of him and the pain he's in
1879
01:22:59,465 --> 01:23:03,149
and make him proud up there
in his rather lonely airplane.
1880
01:23:03,757 --> 01:23:06,186
You've turned into an old
sweetie, haven't you?
1881
01:23:06,211 --> 01:23:08,453
No, I'm still a miserable git,
1882
01:23:08,709 --> 01:23:09,994
and this is all
a front to stop you
1883
01:23:10,019 --> 01:23:12,136
from messing up my performance.
1884
01:23:12,247 --> 01:23:15,810
All right, I'll think about it,
you miserable old tart.
1885
01:23:17,303 --> 01:23:18,440
Push off.
1886
01:23:19,308 --> 01:23:20,756
This is so amazing.
1887
01:23:20,781 --> 01:23:22,132
Molly, you're actually living
1888
01:23:22,157 --> 01:23:24,148
the actor's nightmare.
We all have it, darling.
1889
01:23:24,173 --> 01:23:26,092
Dreaming about going on
in a major role
1890
01:23:26,117 --> 01:23:28,538
totally unprepared.
It's so exciting.
1891
01:23:28,569 --> 01:23:30,577
Thanks, Tom. Oh, god!
1892
01:23:30,602 --> 01:23:32,198
Whoever said actors were sissies?
1893
01:23:32,223 --> 01:23:35,253
I don't know how you do it!
God, I feel sick.
1894
01:23:35,278 --> 01:23:36,586
Don't worry, lovely.
1895
01:23:36,611 --> 01:23:38,680
If I ever forget
my lines in Shakespeare,
1896
01:23:38,705 --> 01:23:42,278
I always say "crouch we
here awhile and lurk."
1897
01:23:42,628 --> 01:23:44,676
- Always seems to do the trick.
- Why? What happens?
1898
01:23:44,701 --> 01:23:46,711
Well, nothing, normally.
But, you know,
1899
01:23:46,736 --> 01:23:48,244
provides a moment of intrigue,
1900
01:23:48,269 --> 01:23:50,568
gives you a chance to think of
something, pick up a script, maybe.
1901
01:23:50,593 --> 01:23:53,291
The fight! If it all goes wrong,
1902
01:23:53,316 --> 01:23:57,212
um, drop the sword, take this
off, and throw it at me.
1903
01:23:57,293 --> 01:23:59,601
Then I say "the boot, the
boot was poisoned" and die.
1904
01:23:59,626 --> 01:24:01,654
- Brilliant.
- That should work.
1905
01:24:02,461 --> 01:24:03,474
- Hello.
- (Fadge): Hello!
1906
01:24:03,499 --> 01:24:05,762
Lovely. Anywhere you like.
Thank you.
1907
01:24:05,787 --> 01:24:07,136
- Would you like a program?
- Yes, please.
1908
01:24:07,161 --> 01:24:08,563
I'm sorry, we don't have any.
1909
01:24:08,588 --> 01:24:10,366
- Yes, we do.
- Yes, we do.
1910
01:24:11,059 --> 01:24:13,228
- That'll be 50p, thank you.
- That'll be 50p, thank you.
1911
01:24:13,253 --> 01:24:14,244
Any ice cream?
1912
01:24:14,269 --> 01:24:16,025
We have herbal teas,
natural fruit juice,
1913
01:24:16,050 --> 01:24:17,776
organic rice cakes
with balsamic chocolate,
1914
01:24:17,801 --> 01:24:20,229
- and straw.
- But any ice cream?
1915
01:24:20,253 --> 01:24:21,414
What are you, a fascist!
1916
01:24:21,439 --> 01:24:23,864
Fadge, I've got some ice cream
here in the cool box.
1917
01:24:23,889 --> 01:24:25,801
Vernon, you're a star.
Yes, stay here.
1918
01:24:25,825 --> 01:24:28,302
Vernon, you're a star. I'm
completely out of my depth here.
1919
01:24:28,374 --> 01:24:29,617
The paint's still wet on the throne,
1920
01:24:29,642 --> 01:24:31,046
Joe's costume won't fit Molly,
1921
01:24:31,071 --> 01:24:32,871
the smoke machine is probably
down at the boozer with Carnforth
1922
01:24:32,896 --> 01:24:34,108
having a quick one before the show.
1923
01:24:34,133 --> 01:24:35,996
If I was any more nervous,
I'd be very, very nervous.
1924
01:24:36,021 --> 01:24:38,362
You're doing wonderfully well.
But tell me.
1925
01:24:38,386 --> 01:24:39,714
Are your nipples hard?
1926
01:24:39,739 --> 01:24:42,632
If they were any harder,
Tom could do chin-ups from them.
1927
01:24:44,136 --> 01:24:46,987
False economy, not having a dresser.
1928
01:24:49,195 --> 01:24:50,727
My son's in this.
1929
01:24:51,179 --> 01:24:53,913
Playing about 15 different roles.
1930
01:24:54,081 --> 01:24:56,781
- One of them good, we hope.
- Really.
1931
01:24:57,377 --> 01:24:59,210
Well, my dad's in it, too.
1932
01:24:59,235 --> 01:25:00,872
What's he playing?
1933
01:25:01,370 --> 01:25:02,437
I'm not sure.
1934
01:25:02,462 --> 01:25:05,456
(Fadge): One minute, please! One
minute, ladies and gentlemen!
1935
01:25:05,481 --> 01:25:07,092
'Tis a far, far better
thing that I do now
1936
01:25:07,117 --> 01:25:08,957
than I did that night with the
sailor and the artichoke.
1937
01:25:08,982 --> 01:25:10,681
Oh, hush, mother, be wonderful.
1938
01:25:11,016 --> 01:25:12,317
(Vernon): Nina. Nina! Good luck.
1939
01:25:12,342 --> 01:25:13,603
They love me, you know?
1940
01:25:13,628 --> 01:25:15,592
That's the beauty
of a private plane, isn't it?
1941
01:25:15,617 --> 01:25:17,873
They wait for you.
We're all so thrilled.
1942
01:25:17,898 --> 01:25:19,409
- Does this guy bother you?
- No.
1943
01:25:19,434 --> 01:25:20,505
- What's your name?
- Mortimer.
1944
01:25:20,530 --> 01:25:22,395
He's doing a profile
on me for London Times.
1945
01:25:22,420 --> 01:25:24,400
- That's a good paper, isn't it?
- The best.
1946
01:25:24,425 --> 01:25:27,571
He figured it'd be good to
cover me catching some art.
1947
01:25:32,150 --> 01:25:33,644
These are neat.
1948
01:25:34,172 --> 01:25:38,048
Take some of those and use them
when we preview the movie.
1949
01:25:55,318 --> 01:25:56,684
Who's there?
1950
01:26:08,060 --> 01:26:11,309
But now, my cousin
Hamlet and my son.
1951
01:26:16,536 --> 01:26:19,687
A little more than kin
and less than kind.
1952
01:26:26,092 --> 01:26:29,208
How is it that the clouds
still hang on thee?
1953
01:26:29,383 --> 01:26:32,242
Not so, my lord.
I am too much in the sun.
1954
01:26:32,521 --> 01:26:35,222
Good Hamlet, cast off
thy colored nightie
1955
01:26:35,247 --> 01:26:38,677
and let thine eye
look like a friend on Denmark.
1956
01:26:38,767 --> 01:26:42,561
Darling! Dorothy Drama has come
to live with us in a big way.
1957
01:26:42,737 --> 01:26:44,103
Nancy Crawford has
delayed her flight
1958
01:26:44,128 --> 01:26:45,904
to come see her new boy in action.
1959
01:26:45,929 --> 01:26:48,099
And she's got The Times with her.
1960
01:26:48,124 --> 01:26:50,571
We are going to be reviewed,
darling, by a national newspaper.
1961
01:26:50,596 --> 01:26:52,412
So, he's just come back
for the one performance?
1962
01:26:52,437 --> 01:26:54,881
Be reasonable, Nina.
He saved the show,
1963
01:26:54,906 --> 01:26:56,521
he saved Molly from
a nervous breakdown,
1964
01:26:56,546 --> 01:26:58,266
he saved us the chance
of a wonderful notice.
1965
01:26:58,291 --> 01:26:59,860
I think it's shameful.
1966
01:27:00,306 --> 01:27:02,192
Nina, I...
1967
01:27:03,945 --> 01:27:05,723
I was going to be
rather good, I thought.
1968
01:27:05,748 --> 01:27:07,779
I think you knelt beautifully.
1969
01:27:08,196 --> 01:27:10,302
A bloody, bawdy villain!
1970
01:27:10,632 --> 01:27:13,402
Remorseless, treacherous, lecherous,
1971
01:27:13,427 --> 01:27:16,332
kindless villain of vengeance!
1972
01:27:16,357 --> 01:27:17,419
Yes.
1973
01:27:17,444 --> 01:27:19,927
My lord, how does your honor
for this many a day?
1974
01:27:19,952 --> 01:27:22,420
I humbly thank you, well.
1975
01:27:22,590 --> 01:27:24,278
My lord, I have
remembrances of yours
1976
01:27:24,303 --> 01:27:25,842
that I have longed
long to redeliver.
1977
01:27:25,867 --> 01:27:27,885
I pray you, now, receive them.
1978
01:27:27,910 --> 01:27:29,821
No, not I. I never gave you aught.
1979
01:27:29,846 --> 01:27:32,281
My honored lord, you know
right well you did!
1980
01:27:32,306 --> 01:27:34,870
And with the words
of so sweet breath composed
1981
01:27:34,895 --> 01:27:36,958
has made the things more rich.
1982
01:27:36,983 --> 01:27:39,864
Their perfume lost,
take these again,
1983
01:27:40,110 --> 01:27:42,400
for to the noble mind
rich gifts wax poor
1984
01:27:42,425 --> 01:27:45,677
when givers prove unkind.
There, my lord.
1985
01:27:45,702 --> 01:27:48,189
(Audience): Ooh!
1986
01:27:49,320 --> 01:27:51,675
(Cast): Ooh!
1987
01:27:51,700 --> 01:27:53,229
Madam, how like you this play?
1988
01:27:53,254 --> 01:27:54,683
The lady doth protest
too much, me thinks.
1989
01:27:54,708 --> 01:27:55,774
Oh, but she'll keep her word.
1990
01:27:55,776 --> 01:27:57,631
Have you heard the argument?
Is there no offense in it?
1991
01:27:57,656 --> 01:27:59,472
No, they do but jest,
poison in jest.
1992
01:27:59,497 --> 01:28:02,266
- No offense in the world.
- What do you call the play?
1993
01:28:02,291 --> 01:28:03,715
The mousetrap.
1994
01:28:03,974 --> 01:28:06,698
What wilt thou do? Thou wilt
not murder me! Help! Ho!
1995
01:28:06,723 --> 01:28:07,663
(Polonius): What ho? Help!
1996
01:28:07,688 --> 01:28:09,588
How now? A rat!
Dead for a ducat, dead!
1997
01:28:09,613 --> 01:28:12,147
(Polonius): Ohh!
1998
01:28:12,480 --> 01:28:13,846
Calmly, good Laertes.
1999
01:28:13,871 --> 01:28:17,925
That drop of blood that's calm
proclaims me bastard!
2000
01:28:17,950 --> 01:28:19,647
- He's good.
- He's with me.
2001
01:28:19,672 --> 01:28:21,108
What's his name?
2002
01:28:21,133 --> 01:28:23,608
Nina...uh, Newman.
Tom...Tom Newman.
2003
01:28:23,663 --> 01:28:25,363
Put champagne on ice, love.
2004
01:28:25,532 --> 01:28:27,150
Joe will need a bottle
of it dreadfully,
2005
01:28:27,175 --> 01:28:29,309
directly into the vein. Ohh!
2006
01:28:29,861 --> 01:28:30,753
If it'd have been any closer,
2007
01:28:30,778 --> 01:28:33,312
he'd have nearly got me.
Where's the toilet?
2008
01:28:35,532 --> 01:28:37,400
What is a man if his
chief good and market
2009
01:28:37,425 --> 01:28:39,725
of his time be but
to sleep and feed?
2010
01:28:39,750 --> 01:28:41,383
A beast, no more.
2011
01:28:56,164 --> 01:28:58,130
(Audience): Ooh!
2012
01:29:16,011 --> 01:29:20,632
The rest... is... silence.
2013
01:29:26,254 --> 01:29:29,272
Now cracks a noble heart.
2014
01:29:31,073 --> 01:29:33,376
Good night, sweet prince.
2015
01:29:34,925 --> 01:29:38,600
And flights of angels
sing thee to thy rest.
2016
01:29:40,455 --> 01:29:41,753
(Fortinbras): Go!
2017
01:29:42,375 --> 01:29:44,289
Bid the soldiers shoot.
2018
01:30:37,132 --> 01:30:39,052
- (Vernon): You were marvelous!
- You were marvelous!
2019
01:30:39,077 --> 01:30:40,275
No, you were marvelous!
2020
01:30:40,300 --> 01:30:42,523
- You were marvelous, marvelous!
- Carnforth?
2021
01:30:44,496 --> 01:30:45,669
Mum!
2022
01:30:48,202 --> 01:30:51,151
- Were you... did you?
- I'm afraid I did.
2023
01:30:51,581 --> 01:30:54,032
And I'm very cross with you.
2024
01:30:54,397 --> 01:30:56,054
- Really?
- Yes.
2025
01:30:57,320 --> 01:30:59,465
You broke my heart as Horatio.
2026
01:30:59,490 --> 01:31:02,062
I was in tears most of the evening.
2027
01:31:02,774 --> 01:31:03,837
- Really?
- Yes.
2028
01:31:03,862 --> 01:31:04,918
- Would you like a drink, Mrs. Branch?
- Yes, please.
2029
01:31:04,943 --> 01:31:07,154
Darling! It's a triumph!
2030
01:31:07,179 --> 01:31:09,369
Excuse me. God, you were good!
Wasn't he? Yes.
2031
01:31:09,394 --> 01:31:11,488
Oh, Vernon, my boy, I'm...
2032
01:31:11,513 --> 01:31:14,039
Fadge, our designer.
Thank you, darling.
2033
01:31:14,064 --> 01:31:15,455
- (Henry): Terry?
- Yeah?
2034
01:31:15,590 --> 01:31:16,926
Visitor for you.
2035
01:31:20,096 --> 01:31:21,350
Christ.
2036
01:31:23,231 --> 01:31:24,630
Hello, dad.
2037
01:31:25,052 --> 01:31:28,217
Henry dropped me a line,
told me what you were up to.
2038
01:31:28,338 --> 01:31:30,600
Well, it's not quite Puss in
Boots in Bradford, is it?
2039
01:31:30,740 --> 01:31:32,550
Oh, you were very good in that.
2040
01:31:32,615 --> 01:31:34,310
I'm sure it's just
as hard to do panto.
2041
01:31:34,355 --> 01:31:38,148
Oh, it is, love. It's a bit easier
on the heartstrings, though.
2042
01:31:38,529 --> 01:31:41,018
- How's your, uh... - Oh, she's
very well. She sends her best.
2043
01:31:41,043 --> 01:31:43,140
- Really?
- Really.
2044
01:31:44,759 --> 01:31:47,673
We both got quite a turn
from Henry's letter.
2045
01:31:47,893 --> 01:31:51,862
I...we both thought it...
Time to be a little more...
2046
01:31:52,047 --> 01:31:54,971
Well, I'm just very glad I saw it.
2047
01:31:56,046 --> 01:31:58,306
I think you're a wonderful queen!
2048
01:31:58,450 --> 01:32:00,751
- In every way!
- Cheeky bugger!
2049
01:32:02,788 --> 01:32:06,314
So, I have to get back.
For Christmas eve and all.
2050
01:32:06,522 --> 01:32:09,291
- Of course.
- But I'd like to bring mum
2051
01:32:09,570 --> 01:32:12,169
and me girlfriend.
Next week, maybe?
2052
01:32:12,312 --> 01:32:15,453
- Yes, lovely.
- Great. Well, look...
2053
01:32:16,045 --> 01:32:18,612
- I'll be off.
- Well done, dad.
2054
01:32:18,915 --> 01:32:21,505
- I thought you were great.
- Thank you.
2055
01:32:24,922 --> 01:32:26,455
(Terry): Good-bye.
2056
01:32:28,268 --> 01:32:30,343
- Thanks, Harry.
- Henry.
2057
01:32:32,320 --> 01:32:34,829
Henry Wakefield, what the fuck
did you put in that letter?
2058
01:32:34,996 --> 01:32:37,224
I told her you had cholera.
2059
01:32:37,249 --> 01:32:38,875
It's better taller.
2060
01:32:39,485 --> 01:32:42,511
Taller and chunkier.
Chunky is good.
2061
01:32:43,517 --> 01:32:46,936
See, I can make a lot more value
out of the spatial relationships.
2062
01:32:47,152 --> 01:32:51,842
Exactly, darling.
Well, you know Shakespeare.
2063
01:32:51,978 --> 01:32:56,807
I mean, if you can get
the spatial relationships right,
2064
01:32:56,832 --> 01:33:00,926
you can...it's... um, uh, often
can be so much better.
2065
01:33:01,202 --> 01:33:03,819
I'll just go and file this.
Editor's rather intrigued to have
2066
01:33:03,844 --> 01:33:06,117
a Shakespeare review
in the panto season.
2067
01:33:06,142 --> 01:33:07,317
Thank you.
2068
01:33:07,342 --> 01:33:08,588
Oh! Champagne!
2069
01:33:09,022 --> 01:33:10,922
Look, Nina, please.
Let me try to explain...
2070
01:33:10,924 --> 01:33:14,173
Ah, well, if it isn't the very
sad Swedish person hisself.
2071
01:33:14,198 --> 01:33:15,500
Joe, this is Nancy Crawford.
2072
01:33:15,525 --> 01:33:19,078
Oh, hello. It was very kind
of you to come to the play.
2073
01:33:19,103 --> 01:33:20,523
Yeah, well, I figured
I'd check out any guy
2074
01:33:20,548 --> 01:33:22,038
who can turn me down like that.
2075
01:33:22,063 --> 01:33:24,572
I mean, he must be worth
watching, however stupid.
2076
01:33:24,597 --> 01:33:27,398
- You said no?
- Yes, before the show.
2077
01:33:27,423 --> 01:33:30,482
Rather disproves your theory
from martyr central, doesn't it?
2078
01:33:30,507 --> 01:33:34,075
Still, as in all box office hits,
we do have a happy ending.
2079
01:33:34,100 --> 01:33:35,829
I'd like y'all
to meet the new Smegma.
2080
01:33:35,854 --> 01:33:37,884
And my own personal costume designer.
2081
01:33:37,909 --> 01:33:39,700
Oh, I love your little thin people.
2082
01:33:39,725 --> 01:33:42,422
- You do? - We're gonna base
Smegma's look on some of these.
2083
01:33:42,447 --> 01:33:43,517
I mean, it was so neat.
2084
01:33:43,542 --> 01:33:46,230
The whole thing was like
a Judy Garland movie.
2085
01:33:46,255 --> 01:33:48,135
You're gonna be great.
I mean, taller is better.
2086
01:33:48,169 --> 01:33:49,716
We need your kind
of physique, you know,
2087
01:33:49,741 --> 01:33:51,512
and all those different accents.
2088
01:33:51,537 --> 01:33:53,694
You have to get
a lot of character under latex.
2089
01:33:53,719 --> 01:33:55,527
- Where are you from originally?
- Norway.
2090
01:33:55,552 --> 01:33:57,047
That is great for
the european investors.
2091
01:33:57,072 --> 01:33:59,732
And don't you worry, honey.
I'll make sure he's naked
2092
01:33:59,757 --> 01:34:00,994
for the first 2 weeks of the shoot
2093
01:34:01,019 --> 01:34:03,328
so you have time for
your costume concept.
2094
01:34:03,390 --> 01:34:05,627
You're gonna love Nathan.
He's a wonderful designer.
2095
01:34:05,652 --> 01:34:06,944
He just couldn't find his Smegma.
2096
01:34:06,969 --> 01:34:09,397
Tom, you're playing Smegma
in the new sci-fi film
2097
01:34:09,422 --> 01:34:10,366
Galaxy Terminus?
2098
01:34:10,391 --> 01:34:12,127
You are too quick
for your own good, darling.
2099
01:34:12,152 --> 01:34:13,542
Well, I hope he is.
2100
01:34:13,700 --> 01:34:15,922
I don't need any more
fuck ups on this role.
2101
01:34:15,947 --> 01:34:17,814
Do you have an out
in your contract?
2102
01:34:17,966 --> 01:34:19,549
- Sorry?
- Did your agent negotiate
2103
01:34:19,574 --> 01:34:21,658
a way for you to leave the show
should such a thing happen?
2104
01:34:21,683 --> 01:34:22,668
- (Vernon): He hasn't got an agent.
- Huh?
2105
01:34:22,693 --> 01:34:24,819
Yes, he does. And obviously we'll make
2106
01:34:24,844 --> 01:34:26,406
some compensation to the management.
2107
01:34:26,431 --> 01:34:28,064
We'll talk about it, Joe.
2108
01:34:28,089 --> 01:34:30,802
My. Well, we all have a
plane to catch. Bob?
2109
01:34:30,827 --> 01:34:33,146
- Tom. - I'll be right along.
- Uh-huh. Snatch?
2110
01:34:33,171 --> 01:34:34,884
Fadge. Right with you, boss.
2111
01:34:34,912 --> 01:34:36,927
And Mickey and Judy,
you two were fine.
2112
01:34:36,952 --> 01:34:38,137
You keep it up, ok, kids?
2113
01:34:38,162 --> 01:34:39,702
For what it's worth, darling,
2114
01:34:39,727 --> 01:34:42,116
I thought you were
a wonderful Hamlet.
2115
01:34:42,141 --> 01:34:44,565
- Do you have representation, Snot?
- Fadge.
2116
01:34:44,590 --> 01:34:46,917
- (Nancy): Margaretta!
- Coming, Nancy!
2117
01:34:46,942 --> 01:34:48,266
Here. Call me.
2118
01:34:49,769 --> 01:34:51,123
I think I'm going to faint.
2119
01:34:51,234 --> 01:34:53,110
Oh, god! This is
all right, isn't it?
2120
01:34:53,135 --> 01:34:54,896
I mean, my work's
done here, isn't it?
2121
01:34:54,921 --> 01:34:56,578
Molly can just as easily
fill in for Tom, can't she?
2122
01:34:56,603 --> 01:34:58,356
Oh, no, of course it's all right.
With the compensation,
2123
01:34:58,381 --> 01:34:59,982
we can hire someone
to work the lights
2124
01:35:00,007 --> 01:35:01,619
and sell the tickets.
No, look!
2125
01:35:01,644 --> 01:35:04,966
I'm just very pleased for you.
Delighted. Really, I am.
2126
01:35:06,097 --> 01:35:07,297
(Terry): Just like a fairy tale.
2127
01:35:07,322 --> 01:35:08,202
(Henry): Bloody nightmare,
more like.
2128
01:35:08,227 --> 01:35:10,361
- (Terry): Shut up.
- (Carnforth): Oh, Nina, darling.
2129
01:35:10,386 --> 01:35:12,972
I just remembered. There's a
visitor for you out front.
2130
01:35:13,234 --> 01:35:14,971
(All): Ooh!
2131
01:35:14,996 --> 01:35:16,417
(Terry): Tall, dark stranger.
2132
01:35:16,979 --> 01:35:18,022
Dad!
2133
01:35:18,593 --> 01:35:21,901
I can't believe it!
I can't believe you came!
2134
01:35:22,034 --> 01:35:23,551
- Did you like it? Did you?
- You were wonderful.
2135
01:35:23,575 --> 01:35:25,797
Oh, dad! This is my family...
2136
01:35:25,822 --> 01:35:27,386
I mean, my friends...
and they're wonderful.
2137
01:35:27,411 --> 01:35:30,116
I want you to meet them all
and...and this is the most utterly...
2138
01:35:30,141 --> 01:35:32,489
- Stupid.
- Heroic man.
2139
01:35:34,948 --> 01:35:38,360
- I'm so proud of you. - Thank you.
It's not often you turn down
2140
01:35:38,385 --> 01:35:40,249
lifelong financial security
and a great career.
2141
01:35:40,274 --> 01:35:43,429
Oh, rubbish. You have a great career.
And you have me.
2142
01:35:43,454 --> 01:35:45,120
- Really?
- If you'd like.
2143
01:35:45,145 --> 01:35:46,516
Get his name on the dotted line, love,
2144
01:35:46,541 --> 01:35:47,974
he's a shifty git.
2145
01:35:49,168 --> 01:35:51,368
- Would you like to dance?
- I thought you didn't dance.
2146
01:35:51,375 --> 01:35:54,477
I thought better of it. And, I
reckon, if I play my cards right
2147
01:35:54,502 --> 01:35:55,854
I might get my leg over tonight.
2148
01:35:55,879 --> 01:35:58,469
Oh! I'm not just a fabulously
attractive sex object, you know.
2149
01:35:58,494 --> 01:35:59,985
- Yes, you are.
- Oh, fair enough.
2150
01:36:00,010 --> 01:36:01,274
Won't your dad
be appalled by all this?
2151
01:36:01,299 --> 01:36:02,539
Oh, no, he knows all about you.
2152
01:36:02,675 --> 01:36:03,974
Check out his phone bill.
2153
01:36:03,999 --> 01:36:05,369
I think he's just
accepted his last
2154
01:36:05,394 --> 01:36:07,102
reverse charge call from me.
2155
01:36:07,238 --> 01:36:09,425
Actors. They're all
the same, aren't they?
2156
01:36:09,450 --> 01:36:11,311
(Henry): Oh, this is marvelous.
2157
01:36:11,650 --> 01:36:14,080
You know, despite
my immense purity of soul
2158
01:36:14,105 --> 01:36:16,160
and being cleansed by my art,
2159
01:36:16,253 --> 01:36:17,871
I'm still gonna get
depressed and mad.
2160
01:36:17,896 --> 01:36:20,212
Yes, but we can get depressed
together. That's fun.
2161
01:36:20,237 --> 01:36:21,784
Aren't you always
going to be optimistic?
2162
01:36:21,809 --> 01:36:23,093
No, I'm going to be miserable
2163
01:36:23,118 --> 01:36:24,505
and fatter than a huge saggy ox.
2164
01:36:24,530 --> 01:36:27,107
Oh, lovely. I can just
feel it starting.
2165
01:36:32,191 --> 01:36:34,567
(Nina): Listen, everyone!
Merry Christmas!
2166
01:36:34,592 --> 01:36:37,059
(All): Merry Christmas!